Cole Escola

[00:00] This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking your pockets before putting clothes in the washer? [00:09] Oof. Enjoy your freshly cleaned and completely destroyed earbuds. Yeah, checking first is a good plan. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. [00:29] Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Good Hang. Very excited that we have our guest today, Cole Escola. Cole is an incredible performer. They wrote an original play, Oh, Mary, which was a huge hit on Broadway and which gave them the Tony Award. And we're going to talk to them about a lot of things today about struggling in New York City. We're going to talk about their love for Martha Stewart. And we're going to talk about what are they filling their days and nights with now that they've stepped away from their very famous play, which is still going on, by the way. [00:59] which depicts a very insane Mary Todd Lincoln with zero research. Highly recommend. Before we get started, though, we are going to check in with someone who knows Cole, who has a question for them. And that person is comedy legend, incredible performer and amazing. [01:18] Just the funniest lady around, Amy Sedaris. Amy Sedaris. [01:26] This is Amy. [01:28] This episode of Good Hang is presented by Walmart School Supplies. We all remember getting them. I remember Trapper Keepers and so many colored pens, but now I'm sure there's a million more things to get. And thankfully, Walmart has essential back-to-school supplies starting at $0.25, plus all the latest tech starting at $9. Who knew? Hello Kitty pencil cases, Nintendo notebooks, food-shaped erasers,

[01:56] Walmart prices. They even have Lilo and Stitch headphones. Who knew? Shop Walmart.com to score their favorite back-to-school tech and supplies. Well, first of all, hi, thank you for doing this. I'm sure happy to be doing this. We're talking to Cola Scola today and I'm [02:24] Your relationship with them is... [02:26] runs really deep and it's very special. And I think a lot of people, [02:32] were a [02:34] So very, very excited that they won the Tony and very excited to hear your name. [02:40] I was just as surprised. Yeah, that was so sweet of Cole to mention my name. [02:47] Maybe because they owe me $5,000. I don't know. Do you think now where you are in life, you could do O'Mary? [02:55] Me? Well, I was going to say, why aren't you? You should do. I don't know if I have the energy anymore for that schedule. [03:03] I don't think I could do it, you know, eight days a week. [03:08] I mean, I'd like to for you lose weight, you get muscle. I mean, that aspect, live audience. But man, that's a brutal schedule. That's for a young person. I was just at someone's pool the other day and a little kid challenged us to all jump in at the same time. And my ears are still ringing. And it's just from jumping in a pool. Yeah. Jumping in a pool. I woke up this morning. I was like, oh, I have a swimmer's ear. Everything hurts.

[03:38] What did I do? What did I do? And then you're like, oh, wait a minute. [03:44] Yeah. I know. I was thinking about you because I was thinking I'm sure – [03:48] Cole would love for you to do, O'Mary, and you would be perfect in it. But I know that the schedule is wild. It's too wild. And the whole point would be to work with Cole. [03:57] You know, I work really well with them. And that's fun, too, to discover that. We work really well together. I know. So tell me about it. I mean, I know a lot of people saw... [04:10] And then play Chazzy on your show. So how did you start working together? I saw Cole Orange Juice commercial on YouTube. And then I worked with Cole on your show on Difficult People. And then I was just looking for a good neighbor. And I was like, it didn't matter, male, female. It's got to be this person. It's got to be Cole. And, you know, always came in prepared, always came in with lines in their back pocket. [04:37] Uh, everyone loved Cole on set. It makes perfect sense that you two love to work together and, and, you know, we're drawn to each other like magnets. Cause I think the same thing about you, Amy, like you're such a real artist and, you know, [04:50] And such a genuine... For listeners, Amy just leaned really close into the camera. Got really... Like a moth to a flame. Ping, ping. Nipples. I guess it'd be ping, ping, down. [05:07] There's never been anything self... In my opinion about you, never been anything that feels self-conscious or even kind of aware of what's kind of expected of you. And Cole is the same way.

[05:20] so specific and satisfying and unique. [05:25] Well, that's nice of you to say. Is that why I'm not working? Mm-hmm. Yeah. [05:33] So you've never done a Broadway show? No. That's nuts. I've never done Broadway. [05:41] Off-Broadway I've done, but have you? No. [05:43] Okay. Well, it sounds like we got to do something. Oh, that would be fun. Write something for us. Let's write something where it's just a 45-minute show. It starts at 6 p.m. and we sit down the whole time. And wheelchairs. Yeah, I bless that. Grab bars, speed rails, wheelchairs. [06:03] So we've been asking people who know our guests, who are fans of our guests, to give me a question [06:13] in or dead or alive, what would you serve? Because then you could judge person on what you would make for these people. But, um, and also, and I get interviewed a lot. They'll ask like, what do we not know about you? And that's kind of hard because one thing about Cole that I really admire and also about young people is they're so, you know, they'll tell you anything, you know, you ask them a question, they're so honest and open about it. You're like, Oh my God, isn't that private? Or, you know, like what, well, what don't we know about you since you've been telling your whole [06:43] high blood pressure, cholesterol. People would be surprised to know that about me. [06:49] I always say Cole's an old soul, young spirit. I have that, the joke question and the lesson. Oh, I was curious after all this entire journey, like if Cole had to write a memoir right now, what would the name of it be? This is a huge success story, don't you think?

[07:13] wannabe performers... [07:18] This story of O'Mary, the story of the show that Cole wrote, starred in, and then won the Tony is what is the best version of writing something for yourself. [07:31] Yes. And success story. Yeah. Success story. I wonder if there's going to be a movie if, if, [07:37] Who would be good in the film movie? It would be like... I say get Linda Hunt in there somewhere. Linda! I want more Linda Hunt. Well, I'm so fascinated by what's behind you in your apartment because you have the best taste. [07:52] I'm doing a photo shoot here today. Okay. It's a new miniature dollhouse that I decided to have built into my fireplace because I have a lot of miniatures. [08:02] And so just put that together last night. What's your favorite miniature in that behind you there? Wheelchair. The wheelchair. It's well-made. It's handmade. It's beautiful crutches, you know, that they don't make anymore. Homemade, handmade umbrellas out of toothpicks. Ooh. Yeah, I have a really nice collection. Bare skin rug. [08:26] Those are the only things you'd grab if there was a fire. That's it. Yes. [08:32] All right. Thanks, Amy. Thanks for your time. Thanks so much. Great to see you. [08:36] Bye. This episode is brought to you by visible. Some searches lead to answers. Others lead to niche conspiracy theories about pigeons. Thankfully, visible is the wireless that keeps up so you can follow the weird wherever it goes. Get one line wireless with unlimited data, talk and text for $25 a month taxes and fees included. Plus visible runs on Verizon's 5G network. So you get great coverage and a reliable connection without the premium cost. Ready for wireless that lets you

[09:06] Visible.com. One-line wireless starting at $25 a month. [09:11] Terms apply. See Visible.com for planned features and network management details. [09:17] Cole, I'm so happy you're here. But I haven't seen you. I've obviously seen you on stage, and I've seen you on TV, and I've seen you everywhere, but I haven't seen you in person in a minute. How is it feeling having just finished your run? I know we're just catching you. It feels... [09:33] uh, insane. We kind of joke sometimes here about like how we always talk about like hard work and acting is working hard work. And in many ways, it's not that hard. This is not that hard. No, but, [09:44] What you do is very hard. Eight shows a week is really like, I used to think like, well, you have your days free. Totally. Like, oh, come on. But I will never think that. [10:02] that way about Broadway people or theater people. [10:06] ever again. It is the hardest job. So hard. So hard. And the hardest part of your day is at the end of your day. So it's like you can't even enjoy your day. Well, but I slept. I go to sleep at like 5 a.m. OK, talk to me about your sleep. OK, so I love talking about I'm kind of weird. I'm like one of those quirky kind of people. I know. I mean, I do the show. I'm like vibrating hyper. [10:36] three hours. Which one is this mine? Is this mine? Is this mine? Yeah. I just realized that I have that too, but I didn't really know what to call it, but it was like, oh, when I would be performing. Burning in my throat. I hate that. Pass the marinara, please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what did you have post show? Was it a similar meal or different? It was, you know, not a lot to open at

[11:06] um, [11:07] Indian food, which is great for acid reflux because it's very mild, you know. Yeah, just some cool spices. Just some spicy cream sauces. Amy Sedaris always says, hot creamy meal straight to bed. [11:25] So, yeah, that or like a bowl, like just slop. [11:37] considering what they will add up to. Yeah, how they're going to marry. I like oranges. So you get your bowl or your food. You eat and then you would... [11:46] Then stay up until 5 in the morning? Yeah, yeah. Just like basically being on your phone, looking at TV. Being on my phone, watching YouTube videos, Marco Polo-ing my friends. Do you use Marco Polo? Yes, I love Marco Polo. It's the best. I thought that that was a Gen X thing, but millennials like Marco Polo? Millennials are dipping their toes into Marco Polo. Gen Z could not be more. They're embarrassed. They're embarrassed, and Gen Alpha don't have phones. They're like, you're sick. Their phones are in their head. Yeah, exactly. [12:16] Yeah. Planted in their heads. Yeah. But I am like kind of obsessed with the fact that you have this open spaces, like you're a wide open space now. Yeah. What are you going to do? To be honest, I was... [12:28] Really? I was really like, I got good hang on Monday. I'll just, that's my next, I'll get there and then we'll figure it out. So, so there's a part of you that like wants that structure and you're going to have to figure out how to structure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sort of, you know, like, um,

[12:46] When you get off of a boat, for those of you that own boats, like we do. Everyone that owns a boat. You know, when you get off your boat, or one of your boats, when you get off your biggest boat, you know, [12:59] And you're like, you're wobbly, you're sea legs. That's how I feel. I used to say that about SNL. Like, leaving SNL was like a train pulling away. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you kind of got all the gravel kicked up, and it sped away. And you could kind of hear the chatter and the laughter. [13:16] And also you were kind of like, like glad you weren't on the train. Yes. Both those things. Yeah. Because for people who don't know, O'Mary is continuing on without you. Yes. Titus Burgess starts tonight. Wow. Again. Yeah. Right. He did it for three weeks. [13:32] And now he's back for six. And then after that. Jinx Monsoon. And then after that, you haven't announced yet. We don't even know yet. So what is it like to create a character? Good. Yeah. Great. [13:47] But I mean, how do you pick who's going to do it? And I'm sure you're at a point now where people are. [13:54] emailing you and saying, I would like to do it, which must be interesting. I bet you're thinking about people who want to do it. Yeah. [14:00] What is that process like? It was... [14:04] You know, [14:05] It really started after the first replacement, which was Betty Gilpin, who took this part and this job so seriously.

[14:18] trained for it and, and, and like, um, [14:21] And I think people weren't lining up to take over the role yet because they wanted to sort of see like how it would go if someone else did it. And she was like... [14:31] brave enough to be like, no, I know this would be like... [14:35] the role of a lifetime for me. So I want to [14:39] jumped at it and she was incredible yeah and it felt like really validating to watch [14:46] I don't know, someone... [14:48] Love the part. Well, you're playing a version of Mary Todd Lincoln based on no research. And it's this... [14:58] tour de force uh it that part allows whoever is playing it to uh like swing for the fences yeah yeah and it's what i love if i may what i love so much about it and loved and i saw you only you in it but and i can't wait to see more people in it but [15:15] What I loved about it is it was like this place where you could go really, really big, but it was very, very moving. Oh, thanks. Really moving. Thank you. It's hard to do both of those things. Thank you. I think you do those things, both of those things really well together. Thanks. Yeah, that was my goal was like to, like, I even wrote it on my dressing room mirror, like, can you love me if I'm annoying? [15:43] Ooh, that's good. Yeah. Can you root for someone who's annoying? That's what I...

[15:49] wanted because you know yeah I've [15:52] I'm sure you feel this way too. Like I'm annoying, you know, [15:56] I'm too much. Yes. Yeah. That is, in fact, a friend of mine has a game where she says boring or annoying. Mm. So you categorize people into boring or annoying. Both are, no one wants to be either. No one wants to be either. That's a good one. But give me annoying over boring. Absolutely. Any day. Yeah, yeah. Give me someone who tries too hard. Of course. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm in the annoying camp. [16:26] So what I'm hearing is because the show has ended, this is like an existential nightmare for you. Yes. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. It would be for me, too. It would be like it's just like, what do I do with my day? What is my life? And you've hit you hit the peak. You got the Tony like there's nowhere to go. But down, babe. I know. Truly down or like across, like leave the business. Across. Yeah. Across. Like just jump in a river and. Yeah. You're just going to work with animals. Change my name. Yeah. Yeah. [16:54] Don't bring my phone. [16:57] Like, burn my fingerprints off. Did you feel, I hope you felt this way, but I know collectively people that were watching you win. Were really angry. They were, yeah. I mean, did you, there was writing on the streets. Yeah, I saw. It was like when the Eagles won the. The what? Sorry, that's for the guys, for the dads, for the dads who listen.

[17:24] Felt like people... [17:26] It felt like [17:27] You were carrying the hopes and dreams of a lot of people. Okay, well... Did you feel that pressure at all? Not pressure. I felt like, um... [17:37] The best part of the whole experience was like people that I used that I have been performing with for like 15 years that like Joe's Pub or the Duplex or like or people that came to see the shows like so happy for me. Like that was the best feeling. Like I scored a goal for the team. Yeah. Everyone felt invested in it because they felt like they were part of it. And they saw it when it was smaller and then getting bigger and growing. [18:07] your show, O'Mary, of feeling... [18:10] indie and small and private and just for you and the entire Broadway community and the entire country coming and feeling the same way too. It was a wild combo of both those things. The whole country came. We looked at the numbers. Yeah. [18:27] There was like even South Dakota. Yeah, there were four people in South Dakota who like said they were going to. Yeah. And they still might. They still might. But yeah, now it's time to go away, I think. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Take a little break. Oh, I like if I'm sick of me, I can only imagine how my friends feel. [18:49] I know that nobody actually knows who I am, but the people who do... [18:54] They've had a lot of me this past year.

[18:57] But I got to say, you have handled it. [19:00] pitch perfect, Cole. Like, you've been so funny. Like, super funny. Like, self-deprecating, but not... [19:10] Like falsely modest. You've been in like, it really feels like you've been feeling the most. Oh, my God. I just, no, I'm. Now you're ruining it. [19:22] To work with people that you respect and like, this is my job. I know. I get to play. I get to play. I get to come here and this is my work. Like, who am I to complain? Yeah. [19:37] I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky. I don't even remember who got nominated. The award is not the thing. No, and we were all rooting for each other. The best part has been getting to know people. I actually hate when they called my name, my heart broke. I thought George Clooney. Like my friend. My friend. My friend George. [20:07] And I get to have it, so I sent it to him. I sent it. I did. You did. And you sent it from the heart. I sent it from the heart. Or I sent him a picture of it. Yeah, yeah. With my finger. Yeah, you're not going to give him the real... No, no, no. No, he doesn't deserve it. It's too many. [20:25] And you ran up there famously. You really hustled up there. Why? They tell you you have 90 seconds from when they call your name to the end of the speech. That's so crazy. So...

[20:36] I was like, I want to... [20:38] talk for as long as possible. That's my goal. That was always been my goal. Like when I was a kid and they would ask like, Oh, what song do you want to sing? I would sing the 12 days of Christmas because it was the longest song that I knew and, um, still the longest song. Uh, but so I was just like, well, I want to be able to thank everyone that I had in my head. Cause I didn't [21:08] people out. But that's okay because what you did is like, I think you learn a lot about somebody when they give a speech because to your point, you were aware of the time. Yeah. You were trying to use it to your advantage. Yeah. [21:19] It's shocking to me how many people get up there and they go like, anyway, and you're like, time is ticking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe you are taking so much time. It's also that thing that. [21:31] I think it was on this podcast that [21:33] Tina said to you about like that Steve Martin said. So this is like, you got to kill every time. Yes. It's like, I do feel that. Yes. Yeah. You have to be funny and you have to be gracious, but you have to be like, you have to produce that moment. Yeah. [21:48] And you produced it really well. Thanks. I played a good game, and we just feel really good about where we're at right now, numbers-wise. Just got to stay in it and hope for the best. Now, I heard this straight character you did on Colbert. Yeah. Do you have a straight woman my age voice? Your age? No, just older. Okay, like a boomer woman? Yeah, yeah, like my mother, sort of. Yeah, what is that kind of character?

[22:18] Well, I'm a little bit hoarse, so my voice is a little lower than I'd like it. But we were going to go up Saturday and... [22:32] Just see what Tracy and them were going to cook. Just sort of nothing. For people who can't see, Cole is... [22:42] Closing. Touching their head a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're right, just a little aggrieved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a tiny headache. Yeah, tiny headache just thinking about – just like talking. That's my favorite. I mean, when I was growing up, just hearing – [23:02] small talk between women at the store was my, [23:08] just heaven. Well, you were raised primarily by women. Yeah. Yeah. By my mother and my grandmother. And I loved my grandmother's friends and, you know, complaining about health issues. Okay. But you grew up in Oregon. Thanks. And that's not, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. No, you grew up in Oregon. You got in a community theater. You made your way to New York. Yeah. What was like the first, like, can you just, [23:38] Paint a picture of when you first arrived in New York City. How old? 18. Yeah. I mean, fresh from my hometown. [23:48] And then the first place I lived was the 92nd Street Y on the Upper East Side. Now imagine an 18-year-old.

[23:57] little gay kid coming to New York City and that is their first impression of New York, the Upper East Side, thinking like, wow, I can't wait to have fun. Old men. Old men. Wow. Oh, wow. These restaurants close at 6 p.m. This is amazing. Yeah. And why did you end up over there? I went to, we can bleep the name of the school out. Okay. Boop. For one year. [24:27] One calendar year. And their dorms were at the... And why did you drop out of college? Couldn't afford it. [24:34] Like I couldn't even afford to take out. [24:36] any more loans. Was that a stressful, were you thinking like, this is a nightmare that I can't, I was heart, no, no, no, I was heartbroken. I was like, I didn't know how I was going to get back to New York. Cause I sort of figured this out the first summer I came back home. I was working at a church camp with my brother, mowing lawns, digging post holes, washing dishes. And, um, and, uh, then I found out like, [25:05] They're not going to give you any more loans unless you have a guarantor. [25:13] All the adults in my life were poor. Yep. [25:16] And I hated them for that. I was like, it was so juvenile to be like, well, maybe if you'd make better life choices, mom, I could live out my dreams. And now I'm like, thank God I don't have student loans.

[25:31] Yes. I don't have student loans because I couldn't afford to go to school. I mean, rejection is God's projection. Thank you. You all, I love when you came up with that. I came up with that. I remember when you came up with that. What did you do though at 19 then you just worked hard and yeah, I went, I worked, uh, at the Scholastic bookstore playing Clifford, the big red dog. Um, and, uh, I mean, I worked at the cash register as well, but that was, [26:01] and you were living with who then like renting a room from someone? renting a room in a railroad apartment where a complete stranger had to walk through my room to get to his bedroom and often like I had like one season of Sex and the City on DVD and he would always I was always missing one disc and then it would appear back the next day and then it would disappear oh he took it [26:31] was like jerking off to it. Oh, I wonder which episodes. And this was like, I mean, this was what year? 2008? Mm-hmm. [26:41] So porn was available online. Yeah, he could have. But there was just something about Kim Cattrall, I guess. Yeah, probably that. Hey, I get it. Hey, I get it. We both do. We both get it. When did you first get paid to be an actor? Other than Clifford. Well, but my first paying job was when I was 11.

[27:04] Really? [27:05] I was in a regional production of The Grapes of Wrath. [27:10] I made $50. Total? Total. Okay. Yeah. I played Winfield Jode. [27:17] Okay. My lines were, um, ma, ma. [27:21] "'Ma, look, over there!' [27:24] Great. Yeah. [27:28] $50. But I did come up with, I've said this already to Mo Rocca. I'm sorry for those of you. God, then we're going to cut it. If you've already put it on Rocca. But I think you'll appreciate this. At 11, I came up with, there's a scene where everyone's like saying grace over food. And I came up with stage business of like, [27:50] opening my eye and stealing a piece of food. Oh my God. Yeah. I have a similar story, which is when I was about that age, 10 or 11, I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Uh-huh. And I have to- Great comedic part, by the way. Hilarious. Hilarious. So many laughs. And they, because it was the eighties, they just gave us a real dog. They were like, hold this real dog. You know, it was just someone's dog. And I had the dog the whole [28:20] Someone just gave us a dog. I was 10. And there's a moment where Dorothy says like that where the tornado starts. And Dorothy says, Toto, Toto, where are you? Yeah. And in the first show, I was holding Toto and I got a laugh, but not the kind I wanted. Right. Right. They were laughing at me. Yeah. And did you and you clocked that right away? I clocked it. Yeah. So in the second show, I put the dog down.

[28:41] And I walked a few feet away from me. And then I said, Toto, Toto, where are you? And everyone was like, now that's clever. [28:50] And it was like, a star is born. But it's so true. That feeling when you're like, wait, I can do something else. The mischief part. Yeah, yeah. Well, did you feel like... [29:02] Was there ever a time where you were like, well, I don't want to be an actor because it's not... [29:08] Fun. [29:09] Because the way I felt was like, oh, being a performer means, you know, acting school and doing our town. And I was like, I don't think that's for me. So I guess I don't want to perform. Mm hmm. I think, yeah, I didn't know anyone who was an actor. Like, I didn't think it was a job. Mm hmm. [29:28] that I could do, um, [29:30] But [29:32] I think even from a very early age, I was like, whatever I want to do, I want to be in control. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wasn't good at auditions. Yeah, same. Because it was like, I don't know if you don't. No, whenever I get sides, I'm like, oh, you know who should get this? God. And I call my manager and I'm like, are they seeing Gideon for this? How about Taylor Trench? Because he would nail this. [30:02] uh, [30:03] As a writer, I feel like [30:07] I need to know, I need to really trust the writer or feel like...

[30:13] I really understand the right, because I think so much of acting, you have to be a little delusional and be like, [30:20] oh yeah, I know how to do this. Yeah. I know what they're going for. When I read a script, I'm like, oh, I'd love to sit down with the writer and [30:27] Let's see. Why? Now, why is she saying this? Yeah. Yeah. I know you have to. You have to. Yeah. You just have to kind of overcome insecurity and just assume that everyone is supposed to be like, I actually know how to do this more than the writer. [30:41] Yeah, I struggle with it all the time about like working for other. We've all witnessed that. We've watched you on sets sort of floundering. [30:53] We're all just like, oh, come on, girl, come on, come on. Get those lines out. That would be a great scene where you're acting and you pan to the other side. And everyone's just like, girl. Sweating, sweating. You're like, you can do it, girl. Yeah. [31:11] Bye. [31:13] This episode is brought to you by K18. So you've tried a million different hair masks only to watch your results literally wash down the drain? Well, you should know that K18 molecular repair hair mask actually reverses damage. Thanks to the patented K18 peptide, you'll get strong, soft, bouncy hair in just four minutes. Color, bleach, heat, however your hair has been damaged, this totally transforms it from the inside out. Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase [31:43] 2018hair.com with the code Amy.

[31:46] This episode is brought to you by Burlington. Here's a question for you. When was the last time you stopped by a Burlington? Oh, they just do coats? That's what you're going with? Well, they got way more going on. Sure, you can pick up a coat, but you're probably gonna leave with a dress, sneakers, brand name beauty, something for your dog, and a candle you didn't know you needed. At Burlington's prices, you can just get it all. You don't need to sacrifice style for savings. Plus, their store's gotta glow up. [32:16] should pop by. It's better than you remember. Find a store near you at Burlington.com. This episode is brought to you by Ultima Replenisher. You know what no one has time for? Over-the-top wellness trends. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for taking care of yourself, but being healthy should make your day better, not harder. And that's where Ultima comes in. With all six essential electrolytes, Ultima provides balanced hydration that fits right [32:46] or carbs. Shop Ultima on Amazon or in-store at Target and Whole Foods Market. This episode is brought to you by Subaru. Most cars just stick to the asphalt, but hybrids can be found on dirt roads, back roads, and everything in between because the Subaru Crosstrek Hybrid and Subaru Forester Hybrid were built for adventure. With up to 597 miles per tank in the Crosstrek Hybrid and 581 miles

[33:16] hybrid and Crosstrek hybrid. Visit Subaru.com slash hybrid to learn more. Maximum range based on EPA estimated combined fuel economy and a full tank of fuel. Actual mileage and range may vary. [33:33] We worked together on a show called Difficult People. Speaking of great writers, Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner and Scott King, and we were all working together on a show, and that was a lot of fun. That was so much fun. That was like, and that was a situation where like... [33:49] I trusted Julie completely. Yes. And like the character was, I just got it immediately. And the character was? Matthew. This basically demon twink. Yeah. [34:03] Yeah. Full of himself, musical theater, actor. [34:08] villain. Like gay villain. [34:12] In a way that like [34:14] Like the way that like you said, oh, you understand you have a love for for. [34:22] women, Julie has a love for [34:25] awful gay guys. Yes. Yeah. Totally. A deep love and respect for horrible gay men. And she is so good at writing that those kind of characters that you're kind of rooting for and also afraid of. Yeah. Yeah. At the same time. Like, you don't want to leave the room while they're around. Yeah. They'll destroy you. Yeah. Yeah. That was a really good experience. That was so fun. Yeah.

[34:55] this is what I'm saying like we just get to play we get to play I mean but it's also hard it is but it's like so rewarding too and it's like when I think of like you know like where I came from what my parents did to like how dare I complain you know how dare I you know and someone's like ma'am your coffee is ready I'm just trying to hand you your coffee I just asked you if this was your coffee [35:25] I won't be tipping, but thank you. Yeah. Okay. So you have a... You know who I heard doesn't tip? No, I'll tell you later. Oh. I'm just kidding. No, I just said that. Did you have any other way to tables? I was a... Were you ever working in the restaurant industry? I was a busser. And then I worked... I worked at a bakery. I was a counterperson at the bakery. I feel like you would be a very good front of house. I'm not, because I don't... [35:48] Uh, well, I... [35:50] So I also did sex work, breaking news. And that was... And that's front of house. That's front of house. That's all house. That's front and back. Front and back of house. Of house. Yeah. Yeah, price difference. [36:06] What do you want? You want the front of house or the back of house tonight? 50 bucks for the back of house. And you do a whole thing where you pretend that you didn't have a reservation for them. And your name's not on the list. It's not on the list. [36:20] Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. That was... [36:24] way, way, way, way less demoralizing than...

[36:28] service job. Yes. Like, I, [36:32] Because, A, sex work, I was in control. Like... [36:36] I named my price. It was also like the money for the time spent. Right. You know, making – [36:44] $100 in an hour and [36:46] You know, this was a different time, okay? This was a long time ago. That was a lot of money back then, okay? [36:54] That was a lot of money back then. This was pre-Tony. This was pre-Tony, okay? [36:58] So I couldn't charge what I could charge now. [37:01] Now I can get it. [37:02] Easy, 140. Of course, that Tony bump? Yeah, please, the Tony bump. [37:08] But, like, that versus making... [37:12] like $10 an hour, having people yell at you because their chocolate cake is dry. What I'm learning is like control, creative control, especially control of your time. Yeah. Structure is very important to you. And therefore you use all of those. I use people. Yeah. Yeah. I use people. That's the only thing we're going to pull from this is you saying I use people and we're going [37:42] throughout the whole episode. And why is that? Seven times. I use people. Yeah. Um, it's going to be like a Howard Stern clip when we play over and over again, that Fred presses a button and then it goes, I use people. Um, no, um, but you took all the strengths to make the show that you made because it's like you create it. I mean, it is so hard to write a show and you've done a few of them. Yeah. I've been in New York for 20 years this year. Yeah. And, um,

[38:09] I probably started writing and performing like my third year here. So yeah. Yeah. [38:14] Yeah. Yeah. [38:15] I know it's, it's. And I just couldn't be more grateful for like, because that experience, it's like, I look back on it. Wait, wait. I just want to say like, keep going. [38:27] Keep going. If you're out there and you're thinking, is it going to happen for me? It will. It absolutely will. [38:34] Sir, we got your test results back. [38:38] And I've been trying to tell you. Thank you so much. Yeah. I need to, we really need you to see a doctor. [38:46] But what I want, so I talked, so when you thanked Amy Sedaris. Yeah. [38:54] That was a big deal for a lot of people. Um, [38:58] And it was and you thanked many people in your speech. And for people that know Amy Sedaris's work, what it felt like was, you know, [39:07] I can't explain it other than this genuine moment of a friend who was there for you. And you thanked a lot of your friends who were there for you for a long time. Yeah. It was really special to feel. Yeah. I really want... I thought like... [39:23] who do I want to hear from the next day? Like, [39:27] Who... [39:28] Like John and Claudette, like all of my friends that I thanked were like, [39:32] What? They sent me a picture of their like jaws hanging open. Like you, I can't believe you thanked me, but like I, like my friends are my, the most important people.

[39:45] in my life and I would, you know, [39:47] what am I going to like, you know, pull up some, [39:51] corny ass teacher from sorry you've never had a teacher never had a teacher not once you've never had a teacher you brag about that yeah yeah no but but also you saying that's so that's so interesting you say that who do you want to hear from because also when you mention amy and and john and jeffrey and claudia like you're also like sending a signal of like this is the kind of artist i am because those kind of artists amy specifically sedaris you know who when i when i came to [40:21] was the senior yeah like she was on stage she was queen bee and um [40:26] She, like you, had this [40:29] true artist vibe, which was like they... [40:32] They make commercial work that people will love, but they're making it for themselves. There's not a feeling of what should we do that's going to work or is interesting. It's just like I just want to do what me and my friends will think is good. And we talked to Amy before this podcast. Oh, boy. Let me have some Coke Zero. And she loves you and talked about how thrilling it was to hear her name and how she was watching with everybody. And it was very exciting. [41:02] And your appearances on her show were so stupid and funny. Yeah, thanks. Incredible wigs on that show. Oh, my God. The best, yeah. Amy is such an expert on wigs. Yeah. And I'm sure you are at this point, too. I've given up a little bit. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[41:21] I'm sure you know how to put on your own wig. For people who don't know how to put on their own wig, what are some tips? Yeah. [41:28] Honestly, some people just don't have a face for wigs. And I have the perfect face for wigs. You do have a great face for wigs. Look, I'm not saying I'm... [41:38] Stunning. You are stunning. [41:40] But I'm not saying that. Okay. You said it. Okay. I'm not saying, you know, I have a lot of faults. My teeth don't match. None of them look like they belong together. But my face... [41:54] is perfect for wigs, and I can admit that. It is. Thank you. Every single wig changes your face. Thank you. And... [42:00] Every single time you put on a wig, it looks like... I just feel lucky that I get... [42:03] to do it. Sorry. Sorry. It's just, it's play. It's play. [42:11] Like, it's my job is to play. My job is to play? Like, are you kidding me? Like, I show up? Are you kidding me? Every day, I'm like, you pinch me. [42:21] Ew, ew, ew. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Oh, yeah. But, okay, so you do Amy's show. You thank her at the Tonys. And she had a couple questions for you. Great questions, of course, because it's Amy, a genius. She had two questions. [42:41] If you could have a dinner party for anyone else, [42:44] Alive or dead, what would you serve?

[42:52] Um... [42:53] I hate cooking. Oh. Well, I hate doing dishes. Yeah. And I'm also someone who, if the recipe says, like, it takes an hour and 15 minutes, I need four hours. Yeah. Because I'm... [43:10] So I'm taking, I'm doing every step like four times in my head, repeating it back to myself, Marco Poloing a friend, explaining it to them. Taking notes on that Marco Polo. [43:23] I would make... [43:27] Mashed potatoes. [43:28] A big bowl of it. Big bowl of mashed potatoes. And who would be at your dinner party? [43:33] Um... [43:35] I know it's a hard question. Yeah. Alive or dead? The alive or dead part. Okay, Martha Stewart. Oh, but then I wouldn't want to... But you'd want her when she was dead. I would want her dead, yeah. Half dead. Dying. Yeah. I would want to serve... [43:49] Cold mashed potatoes to dying Martha Stewart. That makes sense. That's my dream dinner party. Her last bite. I would get to say, like, you know, I served Martha her last bite. Yes, and she was like, mmm. Cold. [44:03] You know, she, I was obsessed with Martha as a child. Ooh. [44:08] I was... [44:10] her show from the 90s, you know, where it was like in her home. And she would be like, while the pie's baking, let's retile the roof. It was like, she just assumed like, you can do it. There's time. It takes 45 minutes for the pie. That's plenty of time for the roof. That's the best thing about WASP energy, which I never knew growing up. I wasn't around it. And when I was finally around it in college, I couldn't believe how much the women got done in a day.

[44:40] It was a lot of mucking about and getting things done. She's in a cranberry bog while her steak's marinating. Yeah. She's doing it. She's really doing it. But I loved her show so much, and I wanted to be like a Connecticut... [44:58] Wasp, you know, but I would spend all my birthday money on Christmas decorations because I wanted to, you know, copy her. Because Christmas was the most important holiday. Christmas is the most important holiday. But yeah. [45:12] I met her... [45:14] A year ago. [45:16] at this little dinner and we were sitting, we were alone at a table because no one else had sat down yet. And I'm like, don't talk to her, leave her alone. She doesn't need to know. [45:27] you know, how much she means to you. And she just looks over at me and she goes, [45:32] are you Mary? [45:36] And I was like, um, yeah. And she was like, I haven't seen the show yet, but I love history. And I, I, I'm dying to see the show. She hasn't come, but it's fine because that's, I have that. [45:50] I have the memory of her looking at me from across the table and saying, are you Mary? It was like, yeah. Anyway, so yeah, that's to answer the question. I would serve her dying body. Dying Martha Cold Mash potatoes. This leads me to this question, which is you have so many people have come to your show. Yeah. And you are a big fan of a lot of the people that came to your show. Who stands out as people that was like, wow, I can't believe they're here?

[46:20] Well, Rosie O'Donnell was big for me because I would run home after school every day to watch her show, and that was my only... [46:28] avenue to seeing Broadway performers. Mm-hmm. [46:32] was her show, you know, um, that was big. Elaine May, [46:37] That was huge. [46:42] That's it. Everyone else could fuck off for all I care. Get out of here. Get out of here. Yeah. But you would greet people after your show is so tiring. Oh, I love it. You do. I do. I do. Maybe because I wrote it. Yeah. So it's like it feels from me. Yeah. So maybe if I was just doing just acting in someone else's show, I'd be like, can I please just go home? [47:07] little codependent when i got the chance to see you after your show and i felt a little codependent about like taking up your time because i just felt i know but you were so generous and i was like wow cole's being so generous with their time after the show because i just felt like oh you must be tired you have to get to bed but now i know you had hours before you would say hours before i would sleep and also like the thing people after the show are like like i'm i know you hear this a lot [47:37] performers because like you know what I'm fulfilled. I don't need any more validation at all. Now I just do it for you. No. And also like every show

[47:51] I'm, I'm, [47:53] working my ass on. I want to hear after every show... [47:57] feedback you know yeah yeah and so i was i would i'm sure the stage manager and director were so sick of me i would be like just like i would come off stage gasping for notes being like scene three i know i didn't get there i know i didn't get there but i i i think i stuck the landing at four right they'd be like yeah it was a good it was the show it was the show you've done it 500 times it was just like the rest of them but but that's the way to keep it fresh yeah you're just [48:27] Yeah. [48:42] Enough already. [48:47] Enough. Enough already. My year on Broadway. The hard way. [48:53] A story of love and redemption. [48:57] Keep going. Through the eyes. [49:01] Of someone who's seen it all and lived to talk about it. Or. Or slash. [49:10] Enough already. Bits and bobs. [49:15] Okay, I have a few quick lightning round questions to ask. Uh-huh. Okay. What is your, and this is just fun. These are just. These are just for fun. Okay, I can relax now.

[49:28] Yeah. That was very serious. Yeah. [49:31] Really sick. Yeah. The earlier stuff we do have to send to the government, but this we can just keep for ourselves. Oh, honey, too late. They're listening. Well, let me ask you this. Have you ever sent the wrong text message? [49:44] Oh, yeah. [49:46] It's the worst nightmare. I've sent, there was someone that I had a crush on who I was very attracted to, and [49:53] And I went to send a picture of him to my friend. Yeah. But instead I sent him a picture of himself. Yeah. [50:02] And then quickly... [50:05] was like [50:07] I think I said something like, [50:09] I love this shirt. [50:11] Where'd you get it? Just sweating bullets. [50:15] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you ever sent a screenshot of the convo? [50:20] Similarly, like a screenshot and then send it to the person? No, no, I don't think I've done that. I've almost done that. [50:28] And, you know, I've definitely heard tell. [50:31] Have you done that? Yes. And I've tried to cover it by being like... [50:36] Can you see this? I said, wait, can you read this? As if something was wrong with my phone and I was testing my phone. Now I know. You got to cut this out because, yeah, eight of your friends right now are like, Can you see this picture? That bitch, I really thought she was going. And they're like, yeah, I do. And you're like, oh, good, because my phone has been weird and I'm trying to figure out if my screenshots work. Anyway, let's get lunch, please. Anyway, love you, love you. Great to see you. Love you so much.

[51:06] I'm so happy you're back with that guy. [51:09] Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what is your go-to? Do you use eBay? [51:14] Yes. What's your go-to search term? What do you search eBay for? [51:19] I guess my most used word is vintage. Yeah. Or I'll just type in an actress's name and then sort out. [51:27] By price highest first. To get the highest. To get like. Yeah. Because that's what's going to be. You know like. Oh this was her couch. That's smart. [51:37] That's how I've, you know, I have Marlena Dietrich's library card. You do? Yes. I've talked about this. I told Mo. I told, you know this, Amy. Come on. You already told Mo this. I told everyone. [51:52] And by the way, that reminds me, beautiful homage to Bernadette Peters. Oh, thanks. You dress beautiful, beautiful. And you heard from Bernadette, yes? Yeah, yeah. And that was the most beautiful I've ever felt. She said, um... [52:07] I thought they looked absolutely lovely, although when I wore it, I wore my chest hairs in a different pattern. Perfect. But more importantly, congrats, Cole, on the Tony. Yeah. What a class act. Very class act. Why is Bernadette Peters important to you? I mean, as a kid, she just was Broadway, you know? [52:28] Yeah. [52:29] I don't know. Just, I just... [52:33] And she's show business, you know? My dad used to say, like, make a joke. He'd be like, the only person I would leave your mother for is Bernadette Peter. That's, now, the term a little. And I was like, why are you telling me this?

[52:50] This is weird. Like, you're picking me up for my soccer game. Like, not letting you, like, putting his hand on the door before you, like, you're about to leave. He's like, wait. [53:00] the only person I would leave your mother for is Bernadette Peters. Have a good day at school. You're like, I'm six. I'm six. I'm trying to go to sleep. You're whispering this into my ear. [53:18] Julie Klausner is the one that I first heard the term, a little something for the dads. When she was doing on her podcast, a Tony's recap of Aladdin. [53:30] ponies and you know they had the sort of like you know the girls sort of like shimmying and she said like oh you know a little something for the dads to show like hey broadway is not just for you know the women and those gay guys we got a little something for you too fellas and i feel like bernadette is you know she's got a little something for the dad she has a little something for the dads she does it works for the dads yeah [53:54] Gorgeous. Okay. Sorry, lightning round. Yeah, lightning round. Sorry. Sorry, I'm not doing this fast enough. No, me. If you could cast a modern day politician as Mary Todd Lincoln, who would it be? Lindsey Graham. [54:10] Would probably, you know, [54:13] He'd probably learn a lot about [54:16] himself. That's right. [54:19] He might wake up and be like, oh, my God. Is that what he sounds like? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Mary. That's what he would call it. I've been so bad.

[54:35] I'm sure sorry, everybody. [54:39] You know, playing this part has taught me that it's not okay to judge. Lest ye be judged. [54:49] I've been so bad. I better quit, but I'm not gonna. I extended my run. I'm so bad. I hope I don't get spanked for it. [55:00] I bet one of you men better not spank me, and I better not pay you to do it. And I don't like to be chased either. Okay, what about a famous actor? Who would play... [55:16] The the the role of O'Mary in a dramatic film. [55:22] I'm sure you've thought about this. I bet there's talks about making a movie. [55:25] If there are, honey, I'm out of it. I'm out of it. Amy Sedaris suggested Linda Hunt. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right? Linda Hunt. Absolutely. Incredible. Cherry Jones could do it. Cherry Jones. [55:40] She could play Lincoln, too. That would be really chilling. She would be amazing as Lincoln. Or, yeah, a Muppet. Or a Muppet. Miss Piggy. [55:49] as Mary Todd Lincoln and then everyone else is human. [55:53] That's a great idea. [55:55] Actually, cut this because I'm going to I'm talking to Disney tomorrow. It's not Disney. Is it Disney? I think they're Disney now. Guys, can we look that up? I hope they had good lawyers because those Muppets don't know what they're signing. No, I don't.

[56:16] That's the one that you turn. Yeah. Do you believe in psychics? Do you go to psychics? Have you ever had a psychic tell you anything that came true? [56:23] I... [56:25] I always quasi-believe astrology and all that sort of stuff. So what's your sign? I actually don't believe it. Right. I'm a Sagittarius. Okay. Virgo moon. Ah. [56:36] Gemini rising. Okay. I don't know much about it either, but I am a Virgo. That's my sun sign. You don't know you're rising anymore? My rising is Aquarius. Okay. And my moon is Leo. Of course. Of course. Had to go there. Favorite New York restaurant? Ooh, Uncle Gino's. Is that real? No. [57:06] Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Sunday, 5 p.m. before the dinner rush, getting that corner table at Uncle Gino's. And ask for Gino. Ask for, yeah, he's always there. He's always there. He's always there. Sunday's early. Get there early. Get the corner table and just sit and people watch. I love to just sit and eat my pasta and just sort of people watch. Because, you know, actors, we absorb. [57:36] real answer. Okay, great. What is that? It's the, you know, ABC Kitchen. Yeah, they have a vegetarian vegan restaurant. Are you vegan? I am. I was vegan. And then I started eating eggs last year because I was so hungry from the shows. Yeah, of course. You need your protein. I was for some reason. I was just craving eggs like a snake. You're lucky you're not a 50 year old woman because we need like 47 grams of protein a day. Do you really? Or else your bones just like

[58:06] You turn into a bag of dusty bones. We have to eat 45 eggs today. Oh, my God. And then lastly, if you had to choose just one cult to be in, how would you design your cult? And what would be your... Like if I was the cult leader? Well, great question. Would you like to be in it or would you like to lead it? I would like to be like the first lady of the cult. The Sheila to the Bhagwan. Exactly. You'd like to be the lieutenant. Yeah. The Mary Todd Lincoln. Yes. Yeah. [58:36] Like, they're really important. You have to pay. The one who's doing all the work. Typing. You do all the you'd have all the power. Yeah. All the power, but no glory. Sort of just behind the scenes being like, we got him, you know, like in the back of a black car. I mean, I always love those cult documentaries where the the second in command is talking to us about how incredible the cult leader is. And then they finally reveal the cult leader. Yeah. Like, huh. Yeah. Like, Jared. [59:06] Yeah, Jared. Jared? Okay. That's the guy we're talking about. Wow. Like, they're always described as very charismatic and, like, hypnotizing. And then the picture is just, like, a guy. I mean, I guess those people are, like, agents, essentially. Yeah. Yeah, they're the hype. You're going to, oh, my God. You're going to love him. Oh, God, he's so hot. Just wait. [59:27] And then the last question is, for today, what are you, okay, you've got free time.

[59:36] forward. [59:37] I'm not going to ask you what's next. [59:41] Because I feel like it's too soon. Yeah. I just don't know. Yeah. You know. But I want to know, what are you watching, listening, reading? And what are you doing? My kids. No. Oh, no, not doing. I mean, listening. Sorry. You're reading your kids. I answered before. Can we cut that? I'm reading my kids. Listening to my kids. I just want to focus on my kids. I'm listening to my kids. I'm having dinner with my kids. I finally get to have dinner with my kids. I get to just be a mom. [1:00:11] Which is the most important role. It's the most important job. No, but sorry. What am I watching, listening to? What do you do? What makes you laugh? Because you are so funny and you have so many funny friends. And like, what do you laugh at? Really just my friends. Like, I wait for them to make me laugh on Marco Polo. John Early does this bit where he will send me a Marco Polo as if he's meaning to send a message to someone else. [1:00:41] But he... [1:00:43] it's this elaborate thing where it's like he's secretly planning with all of the rest of my friends to kill and cook and eat me. [1:00:52] Like, like, uh, you know, like, you know, before the Tonys will send like a message being like, okay, so hi, Claudia. Um, so, um, [1:01:01] Cole fully thinks they're going to the Tonys. [1:01:05] So that's fine. I am a little worried about getting them out of the dress. Just in terms of grilling. It'll be hard. Stuff like that. That is so fun. Makes me laugh so hard every time. Complicated bit. A fun complicated bit. And it goes to show what you said earlier, which is your friends love you. You love your friends. And you guys can deeply tease each other.

[1:01:31] That, to me, is a big love language. Yeah. And it goes to show that you're very safe around each other. Yeah. And it's just play. Sorry. I'm sorry. We'll be right back. [1:01:44] We're not on the air. All right. We're not on the air. This isn't live. Mark, back to you. [1:01:50] Anyway, that's been Cola Scola. Mark, thank you. How's it going out there, Mark? How's the weather? Are you doing okay during the hurricane? People should know, by the way, it's like 102 degrees today. I know. [1:02:01] You're in long, princely-like flannel. Princely flannel. [1:02:08] Cole, thank you so much for doing this. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It was so fun. Thank you. And congratulations on your huge success. I thought you were going to say huge boner. Sorry. [1:02:18] Cut that out. We can't. It was in a part of the tape where we have to make it a sound clip. And it's I use people and huge boner. We have to make it another sound clip. I'm so sorry. It's all right. Thanks. [1:02:35] That was so great. Thank you, Cole. That was so fun and funny. And it's just for this polar plunge, I just want to point you towards more Cola Scola content because there is so much. [1:02:48] funny stuff on YouTube, whether it's the orange juice commercial that [1:02:53] me and Amy Sedaris and Cole referenced, or it's the serial killer documentary, fake videos that Cole made with Jeffrey Self and others. And, and just there's so much content that they've made over the years that is so funny and funny.

[1:03:12] stupid and weird and so many different wigs. [1:03:16] And they have a face for all of them. So check that out. And thank you so much for listening to this episode and every episode. And thank you so much for listening in general and for being so nice. Okay, bye. [1:03:29] You've been listening to Good Hang. The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss-Berman, and me, Amy Poehler. The show is produced by The Ringer and Paper Kite. For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spillane, Kaya McMullen, and Alea Zanaris. [1:03:46] by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Original music by Amy Miles. [1:03:55] This Father's Day, when you ship UPS Air at the UPS Store, your items arrive on time with your money back, guaranteed at no extra cost. It's like the father of all shipping services. It shows up to the airport way too early just to play it safe. It's overprotective about all the things that truly matter. And it's always prompt, especially to be with family. Make it your first choice to celebrate your dad. Ship UPS Air with our money back guarantee. Exclusively at the UPS Store U.S. retail locations. Visit the upsstore.com slash air shipping for full details. [1:04:25] Spring just slid into your DMs. Grab that boho look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals that can keep up with you, and hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling. Ross, work your magic.