#2383 - Ian Edwards

[00:01] Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! [00:13] Ta-da! Sup, son? How is it possible that you haven't been here in the five years I've been living here? Oh, so it's been five years? Yeah, man, it's been five years. That's pretty fucking crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. [00:25] That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. I like it, though. Thank you. It's like... [00:29] It's got the sauna walls and shit. It's very close to what the old one was instead of brick we went with wood. Because we were kind of faking it with the brick in the old place. It was fake brick? It wasn't fake brick. It was real brick. But what they do is they take like a mesh and then they take real bricks and they slice them thin and then they put up the cement and they glue the real bricks in place. Oh, okay. But it's not really a brick wall. It just looks like a brick wall. I feel like a real brick wall. [00:59] should only be the only brick wall that you show. [01:02] Right. Like I went to a pool hall the other day and they had a plastic brick wall and I got deeply disappointed. I got touched it. I was like, oh, this is a fake brick wall. This is bullshit. This is plastic. Yeah. [01:16] I mean, it's a push to have like a half fake brick wall. Yeah. To have like a plastic brick wall. That's you're going too far. Did you just leave the pool hall? Like fuck this place? No, I didn't. No. No, I'm a junkie. But the brick used to bother me that it was fake brick at the end of the studio. I'm like, we're kind of bullshitting here.

[01:35] Some people have like some comedy clubs or... [01:38] somebody fake a comedy spot. It's just a sheet. [01:43] It's not a curtain, but [01:44] A brick sheet. A brick sheet. And they're like, bro, what you got back there? Let's just show that. Just show whatever's back there. It's weird how that became the backdrop for a comedy club. A brick wall. Why? [01:55] It's a good question. I don't know when to start. Maybe it started with Evening at the Improv. What was Evening at the Improv's backdrop? [02:02] Was that a brick wall? [02:03] It might have been that simple. [02:05] All right. Because back in the 1980s, was it? Yep. [02:09] Aha. Look at that. That's it. [02:11] Thank you. [02:12] Bro, is that Ellen? It makes me wonder if that wall is real. Bro, that's Ellen. Look at that picture of Ellen. That's crazy. [02:19] That's crazy. Chris Rock, Adam Sadler. Wow. [02:23] Wow. When I started doing comedy, I used to go to the comic strip and they had a brick wall too. And to get on stage at the comic strip, you had to come the first Friday of every month. [02:36] and try to pick a number. [02:39] And if you've got a number... [02:41] They had like a lot of things. They had like all these open micas lined up down the street. Mm-hmm. And then... This is a dreadlocks Ian's days. This is... [02:49] Pre-Dreadlocks. You didn't have dreadlocks? Nah. I might have had like twists and shit. [02:57] Please don't find none of those photos. Bro, how long have I known you? Like 30 years or some shit. Yeah, we've known each other 30 years. That's crazy. Wow. We were little babies. Yeah.

[03:07] - Little babies. - Doing the Boston. - Yup. - Yeah. It's crazy when I'm like, how? [03:12] Not how, but... [03:14] We just had no fucking idea. Yeah. Like how all this shit would turn out. No idea. Yeah. With no idea even how it all worked. Right. You know, he's just taking chances on stage, trying to figure out what's funny, and then trying to get work. Trying to get work on the road. I just knew... [03:33] Once I... [03:35] Had the inclination to do it the moment. I had the inclination to do it as a I'm doing this for the rest of my life and [03:41] Once that moment hit. So then... [03:44] All bets on everything else was off. And I just started just doing it. [03:49] And just... [03:49] doing it locally in Long Island and then [03:53] I remember seeing [03:55] A&E, the improv, and seen Chappelle on there. And I noticed that all the comics on Long Island that used to... [04:02] like [04:03] Be ahead of me. [04:04] and host the shows that I was doing the mics on. [04:08] And headlined all weekend. Excuse me. All weekend in Long Island. None of those comics were on TV. So I was like, I got to get to Manhattan. Like all the comics that were on TV were in Manhattan. I felt the exact same way. Mm-hmm. [04:23] Living in Boston. All these guys I knew that were so funny, but none of them were on TV. Yeah. [04:28] But the thing is, like, I knew that the people that were on TV, then they could go anywhere. Once you're on TV, then you could go to Kansas. You could go to Miami. You can go anywhere. But if you weren't on TV, man, nobody was going to come pay to see you. It was a risk. You know, you're out with your wife. You got a date night. Like, take a chance on this motherfucker. I don't know. Look at his face. His stupid fucking dreadlocks.

[04:52] Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was on TV, fam. [04:58] It's weird though, right? Nobody knew. I feel like we knew though. Like inside... [05:05] Like, we had some type of blueprint because we'd seen, like, successful comics. Yes. But to go from... [05:13] Like, so, and I came here. [05:15] moved to America for last 17 from Jamaica. So when I started watching TV, I didn't know anybody on TV. Oh, wow. You know what I'm saying? I didn't know anybody on TV. [05:25] So do you remember the first shows you saw? [05:28] first shows well we have American shows on TV in Jamaica we had one channel back then uh-huh was it one we had one [05:36] And then... [05:38] So when I came here, I watched SNL because Eddie Murphy was on that shit. So that was... [05:43] a requirement. I was always watching that. Now I finally can figure out how old you are. Because you lying motherfucker, you won't tell anybody how old you are. [05:53] I don't lie, I just don't tell. It's two different things. It's two different things. I might run past the question. I tricked you with that Eddie Murphy line. It was only on for two seasons. I gotcha. That's hilarious. Yeah, but I was five years old. [06:13] Two seasons or one season? [06:15] I think he was off for two seasons. [06:17] If I'm guessing...

[06:22] Doesn't say? [06:25] Oh, more. [06:27] for. [06:28] Was he really? Oh, you got a little room for error. I got a little room for error. I always got a little room for error. Come on, man. So that's three years. Yeah. [06:36] So he did the 81 and 84? Yeah, 81, 81, 82, and 83. So four seasons. So he put in his time. Mm-hmm. [06:45] There's like, you know, I was saying about Cam Patterson getting on SNL now. Right. He might be the first guy in a long time to become a movie star. [06:54] From that yeah, because it kind of went away. I [06:57] Kind of went away, you know, the Mike Myers days and Phil Hartman and obviously Adam Sandler and like everybody became a movie star from David Spade. They became movie stars. Right. [07:09] But then that kind of stopped. [07:10] And they kind of did it to themselves with all that woke bullshit. They kind of killed comedy movies. Or they just picked somebody funny. There's people they overlook all the time that we know are funny that could be on that show. So it's good that they picked Cam. I'm going to say some positive derogatory shit about Cam. That's number one. [07:32] Fuck Cam, number one. Fuck Cam. I remember the first time I saw Cam. [07:38] And I saw Cam. [07:39] We were at... [07:42] Thank you. [07:43] What's the... [07:46] that room on 6th. [07:48] The Vulcan? The Vulcan. Yeah. So I think I just did your room, then I went to the Vulcan.

[07:54] And then they don't. [07:56] And [07:57] And what's his name? Like, you're next. And then. [08:00] Cam was to the side. So then I knew he was next. It was like the unknown show. So then I bring him up and I watch him. [08:08] And then I had a tag for him. [08:10] I said I'm gonna give you this tag after you got to say I'm gonna give you this tag, but it's only gonna make you [08:15] better than me and you're going to get [08:17] picked up an advance. I could just tell. I was angry and I loved him at the same time. You know what I'm saying? Somebody just got it. Fuck this guy. They got it. You got to celebrate it. You got to celebrate it because we got into this as fans. You got into this as fans. And if someone's funnier than you, you got to go, God damn, he's funny. It'll inspire you to work. And you can be funnier than you are, but you can only be so funny. But this is how crazy it got. So then... [08:47] Two months later... [08:49] I'm in L.A. I see him at the store. [08:52] And I said, "What's up, man? You in town?" They said, "Yeah, I'm here with my manager." [08:56] It's my manager. Your manager is managing him? Yeah. Oh, my God. I was like, I knew it. I knew it. Meanwhile, your manager has been ducking your balls. Yeah. [09:08] Sorry, I'm on a jet with Cam. I'm on a jet with Cam. Call you soon. Yeah. Yeah. [09:13] All's great. But that's how... [09:16] This summer, the Cup is taking over the U.S., and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the big matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app.

[09:46] with code rogan spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days that's code rogan in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 877-8-hope-and-wire text hope and why 467-369-21 and over new york only eligibility restrictions apply bonus bets expire seven days after issuance for additional terms and responsible gaming resources cdkng.co slash audio limited time offer [10:12] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know. I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. [10:42] it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human grade food. The farmer's dog makes fresh food for dogs and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier. And isn't getting more time with our four-legged best friends something every dog owner wants? [11:12] That... [11:13] is yes, obviously. So try the farmer's dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food.

[11:22] Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. Let's talk about Service Titan, the AI for the trades. The trades are the backbone of this country. And for the first time, they've got technology that actually matches the work. Over 10,000 contractors already use Service Titan software to run their businesses. [11:52] tech company guessing at solutions. Now Service Titan is building an AI trained on real trades workflows, not generic internet data. This is AI designed specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls while you sleep, dispatching your texts, helping you run your back office, growing your revenue. One platform, fully automated, [12:22] Still trying to figure out AI. The trades are about to lead from the front. Service Titan, the AI for the trades. Learn more at servicetitan.ai. Close to parallels where. That's hilarious. The motherfucker's funny, man. He makes it look easy. He works hard. Yeah, and he works hard. He works hard. He's always working. He's always on stage. He does that one new minute of Kill Tony every week. That's hard to do. That's hard to do. It's very hard to do. You have to sit down and work on shit. You have to.

[12:52] The guys who excel at it, like Ari Matty, Hans Kim, him, those guys, like, they fucking work hard. Yeah. Yeah. [12:58] And a bunch of people did it for years and years and years. Like William Montgomery is probably – I think he's the longest running guy ever. But he's such a maniac. He can get a minute out of anything. Right. He can get a minute out of coffee by going and getting some coffee. It's like a big part of what his comedy is is just his personality, which is great. [13:22] Because he's kind of a character. He's such a freak. When he's on stage, anything is funny. [13:27] Yeah, like... [13:29] Like, you know, it makes me mad. Like when you say that, I finally just see what Will is. [13:35] because it's obvious to see what Cat Williams is. - Mm-hmm. [13:40] And it's a part of him and it's his voice. And it's like, I call it a comedy cheat because I don't have it. Right, right, right. But they're going to talk. It's going to be funny. Funny. Then if they add some writing to it, then you don't stand a chance. Joey Diaz is the ultimate. Yeah, there you go. Joey Diaz is the ultimate version of that. That motherfucker is funny the moment he grabs the mic. Come on, God gave him that. Just looking at him. Come on, God. Everything about him. Everything about him. He's just walking comedy. Yeah. Yeah. [14:05] And he's fearless. Yeah, and he's fearless. And so he looks like that, and he talks like that, and he gets on stage, and you're like, oh, it's over. Yeah, it's all right. It's like you're already like. It's a force. Yeah. [14:14] It's like you give your mind up to him, like, "Think for me. Take me on a journey. Take me on a journey and think for me." But Theo's got that a little bit, too. Yeah, and we saw Theo develop that, like, through the years. And then he just started, like... He just hit one time. Drifting off and just...

[14:34] getting to that place where you're just constantly just saying shit and it kind of makes sense even if it doesn't. Right. And it resonates like. Brody. [14:44] Brody. Another good example. Brody was just funny. He went, 818 till I die. He'll die and laugh. No one even knows why they're laughing when they're laughing at that. He's talking about the area code for the valley outside of LA. [15:00] It's just like celebration of mediocrity in second place. Hilarious. And was it receder? Yeah. Of all places. [15:11] He was the best at that. [15:13] He was so infectious. Yeah. Like, his comedy would infect you. And you'd be in the parking lot, like, repeating his lines. Mm-hmm. It was so fun. Yeah. I would play this game with Brody. [15:26] where I just treat him like an open mic-er. [15:31] And he would just play along. I said, keep going up, kid, man. You're going to get better. You're going to get better spots. Don't worry about it. He's like, thank you, sir. [15:41] And we'd just do it. He just went with it. Yeah, when we were starting out, like both of us were like, when I met you, we were just past the open mic-er, just starting a work stage. We were both kind of like in the same thing. [15:56] Because no one knows what's going to happen. There's a lot of dudes that we used to do comedy with back then that I thought were really good. And they just vanished. They vanished. They went out and got regular jobs and they gave up.

[16:09] And that's scary to me. [16:10] Because... [16:13] I never want that to happen to me. Boy, when it does happen, it's never happy. [16:18] The guys that I know that do that, they always get weirdly bitter. [16:23] weirdly bitter, like sinister. They want you to fail. They do not want you to make it. [16:28] Yeah, and I don't want that to happen to me. I had an incident with, I don't even know if I should say his name because I feel bad. [16:34] You have to say his name. So... [16:37] He was in all these movies. [16:39] Like big movies. [16:41] He was never a major star, but he's in these movies and TV shows. He was that generation... [16:47] like [16:48] maybe a one and a half generations before us. And he's a regular at the store. [16:53] And... [16:54] The first time. [16:56] Tommy sent me to do La Jolla. [16:59] I... [17:00] use the feature [17:01] But then Tommy... [17:03] Book Me to headline La Jolla [17:06] And told... [17:07] And I don't know if you... [17:08] This guy knew he was supposed to feature, but when he got to the club, [17:12] First of all, I brought a date. [17:15] So... [17:15] you're supposed to get the... you're staying in the condo and you're supposed to get... [17:20] the, the, [17:21] The headliner bedroom. [17:23] shit was in there. [17:26] You know, so I had to take the... You said his name. Ah, shit. But I didn't say his last name. I know what it is. Please bleep it out. Bling. Let's call him Bling. Bling. Let's call him Bling. So Bling shit was in the headliner.

[17:42] bedroom. And then when we went to the [17:45] Store that night. [17:47] and [17:48] he found out. [17:50] like the host was on or the comic that they booked before. And then, [17:55] He walked out. [17:56] Oh, no. He walked out. He said, um... [17:59] headline and [18:01] so then the guy that runs so i think it was ryan at town on the field was there he was like [18:05] Just go up and we'll pay you the headline. [18:09] and i was like fine i'll i'll feature i don't care and you pay me the headline [18:14] and then [18:15] Barry, when I came back in and went up all weekend, that's how it was. But it was like that bitterness that – and I feel – yeah, I feel bad, but I like – that's why I stay on stage. I'll be like, I am not going to let that happen to me. You feel me? Yeah, a lot of people slack off, man. They just – they lose their enthusiasm. [18:37] I think he had a lot of other problems, too, though, right? And he's also from the era where... [18:42] They don't write new material. [18:44] And they do a lot of cocaine. [18:54] So, yeah. [18:56] Yeah, things pass you by if you don't keep up. Yeah. Yeah. [19:00] Or you have to let them pass you by. If you say, yeah, I'm good. I had a good time. It was a lot of fun. You can do that too. But the thing is, like those guys that – [19:08] go and get regular jobs. [19:11] Maybe they're better off than the guy who's now middling for you. Right, right. You know what I mean? Because that guy's probably been phoning it in for a decade and a half. He might not have the juice left to, like, reignite what made him funny in the first place. Yeah. That's when I feel like...

[19:28] I'll just leave. I still got like a competitive spirit. I feel like... [19:33] I haven't gotten to where I want to. [19:35] and I also [19:37] Like that space I was just talking about, like we just stream of consciousness space. Like. [19:42] I'm kind of want to get to that. [19:45] Where you could just like... [19:47] go on stage and [19:49] watch the tape afterwards. I said that? I did that? Right. Oh, that works. That just click. I just want to have [19:57] Get to that. You know where that comes from? Where? Massive stage time. Yeah. Massive amount of stage time. The guys who have the best timing... [20:05] And the best, like Dave Attell, perfect example. That dude's got so much stage time under his belt. Yeah. So much stage time in so many different places. One of the things about Dave is he was doing that New York thing where you get in a cab and you go from one club to another club. So he's doing like five, six sets a night. At one point in time, I forget who the record had, who had the record of the most sets in a night. But dudes were up to like 11, 12 sets a night. I don't even know how you manage it. I did seven one time in the city. [20:35] barely made any of them. And I'm like, I'm going to get fired. They're not going to book me again. I don't want to do it. It's too stressful. Well, I think the guys who can do it [20:43] Or guys like Louie that could just sort of show up and just do a set. And they just put him on any time she shows up. Which bumps me, which meets me late for my five sets. Exactly. That's always what happens. But that's always why there's always, in New York clubs, there's always a guy or two hanging around hoping somebody fucks up. And that happens to a lot of, I've got spots that way before where guys didn't show up. There's always that kind of a situation. That's how I got in the cellar the first time. Oh, really? Yeah. That's funny. I forgot his name. Something Schaefer.

[21:13] Thank you. [21:14] He used to wear a blazer and used to bark for the Boston. You might have been in LA by then. Schaefer. Yeah, Louis Schaefer, I think. Okay. And so then he used to get people into the Boston. Oh, used to bark like in front of the, what you're saying is like bringing people in off the street. Yeah, and he was really good at it. No, but he was a comic too. I thought you were saying bark on stage. I was so confused. Nah, nah, nah. I was like, oh, it's a barker. Don't expect me to complete most of my sentences. This is, yeah. It's asking too much. It's asking too much. [21:43] So what were you saying about him? So he was at the cellar doing the same thing, and he already worked at the Boston around the corner. And then I was just going over to the cellar to hang. [21:54] And he was like, somebody's missing... [21:56] Do you want to go up? Oh. And I was like, bet. [21:59] And I went up. [22:00] And then he told Estee, [22:03] I don't know if they were recording back then, but she just started giving me spots. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that was The good thing about New York was that there was a ton of spots right you could get in and you started getting spots and Started getting a name and people knew that you were an up-and-coming comic can get you know You get some work and then you get work on the road - you could do Long Island. Yeah, there's a lot of gigs in Long Island. Yeah, New Jersey You can do Connecticut. Everything's kind of close everything's kind of close, but I [22:31] Here's the thing, once I got in the city, I didn't want to go anywhere else. I just wanted to do the city spots, the Carolines, the stand-up New York, the cellar, the Boston, sometimes the strip once in a while. [22:43] Because then you could just hang out.

[22:46] in one place afterwards and kick it with everybody and just laugh. Right. So then sometimes I'd have like a college that paid way more money. [22:55] And I'd be like, "Fuck." [22:56] I ain't going to be in the city. [22:59] This is a terrible weekend. And no matter how the gig went, sometimes it's just due to upstate, tri-state, whatever, [23:08] Gig it was... [23:09] And then just head back, just storm right back to the city. You missed the hang. And hang. You missed the hang. That was everything. The hang was everything. You remember Harris Pete? Yeah. So I did the New Year's Eve at the improv, and then I drove from the improv on Melrose after the show to hang out at the comedy store afterwards. And he goes, that's the way to do it. You get your check somewhere else, and you come back home. And it just felt like that there. We were all hanging. It was fun. [23:39] I would bring guys like you or Joey or Ari. We were all together having a good time. So it's like the idea was you got to bring at least a little bit of that out on the road with you. Yeah. Going on the road by yourself sucks. Yeah. Starting to make it sucks. Sucks. [23:55] Because you can't afford to bring... [23:57] who you want with you yet. You're just still trying to establish yourself and you're away from [24:02] your comedy family. Yes. And so you're making a little money. [24:07] But like the camaraderie and the hang. It's the opposite of camaraderie. You might be doing combat comedy. Some dude might step on all of your premises if he's your middle act on purpose. A lot of dudes did that. It was different. It was like, oh, you're not my friend at all. You're trying to come up too. Not just trying to come up, but trying to come up in a dark way. Right. You know, there was a lot of thieves back then. Guys would steal your bits and do them before you that were like your middle act that saw you on Thursday night.

[24:37] do your bits on Friday. You got to pay attention. You're like, what are you doing, man? Yeah, that's fucked up. Because they were in like some nowhere town and they never – they didn't have a real comedy community and they just saw some guy coming in from Boston and New York and they just – I'm going to fuck him up. [24:55] It's just... [24:57] Comedy, when you have a group of people like it was in New York or like it was in Boston... [25:02] Or in L.A., it's always so much more fun. If you're starting out and you're in, like, Pittsburgh, like, how big is the scene in Pittsburgh? Right. [25:09] You know what I did love about New York? How brutally honest all the comments were to each other. [25:22] thing of like, I forgot the type of material he was doing. [25:25] But we confronted him about that shit. [25:28] Like, hey, man, that shit is hacky. [25:30] And he was just doing it for a minute, just fucking around. Probably just trying to get some material. Just trying to get some. Because he just dropped a special. Yeah, just trying. Yeah. But... [25:38] He didn't get upset or nothing. And we'd tell each other shit. I remember... [25:43] I had too many black and white jokes. And we did a... [25:48] gig out of town [25:50] And there's a bunch of black comics. We've come back in the van. [25:54] And they were killing me. [25:55] you got you're talking about black black people cook like this white people cook like this because they were like you got a lot of black and white jokes i was like no i don't and they was like yeah you do and they started naming them

[26:10] And I was like, oh, shit. I never wanted to have black people this, white people that joke. You know, the real problem is if you do short sets and then you got to piece it together into a long set. Yeah. I brought this one dude on the road with me once. [26:25] And he had so many jokes about being a Mexican because he was used to doing five-minute sets. But when he had to do 20, I'm like, bro, you can't keep saying that. You're saying it over and over and over again. One thing I love about being Mexican, and then there's another. One thing I love about being Mexican, like, bro, like, we got to add some spice to this soup. This is crazy. This is one flavor. [26:47] That's how... [26:48] weird comedy is. It's like... [26:50] there's levels to, like first you gotta get your first five minutes. Right. You get your first five minutes, you're feeling like I can kill. I can go from beginning to end and kill. [27:01] But then now you got to get 10. And then you're going to start like you're watering down your solid five. [27:10] You know what I mean? You're not getting that exhilaration that you worked so hard for in a five. But then you get to 10. And then by the time you get to 15, you could like host somewhere on the road. And then you might go... [27:24] out of your state, two miles out of your state. [27:27] and realize [27:28] Oh, shit. [27:30] These jokes. [27:31] were dependent [27:33] on where I live. Yep. They do not work here. [27:37] Yep. [27:38] I went to... [27:39] I had all these Jamaican jokes about being Jamaican because there's so many Jamaicans in New York.

[27:44] And I want me some comics to do. [27:46] temple. [27:47] And it was in... [27:48] It might have been where they played basketball, right? [27:51] like terry hodges will on the show a bunch of strong black comics [27:56] And, uh, [27:57] My opener. [27:59] was a Jamaican about a joke about being Jamaican, my clothes and killed in New York. [28:03] Killed in New York. [28:05] And I did the first joke. [28:07] And people had been killing before me. Then I went on. I did the first joke. [28:13] More quiet than this. [28:17] In a stadium full of people. Oh, no. And then... [28:21] I start panicking on the inside, which definitely showed on the outside. Yeah. And then I was like, let me go for my middle joke. [28:30] which is my second strongest joke [28:34] That didn't work. I was like... [28:36] I got to do 15 minutes. [28:38] I'm... [28:39] on my closer by the third joke. Oh, no. That bombed. And it was bad. But thank God they booed. I didn't have to struggle. So they booed. I was the only one that bombed that night. [28:51] Wow. [28:53] And I bond because... [28:55] Bye. [28:56] Like I said, I moved here when I was 17. So I didn't have enough like American shit. - Right. [29:02] to like, the Jamaican shit about me growing up in Jamaica just started working, but there was a radius to that shit. [29:09] you know [29:11] That shit would work in Florida. That shit would work in...

[29:14] DC. [29:16] And that shit would work in New York. [29:17] and maybe one other place where there's a concentration of like Jamaicans or West Indian people. Right. And American people that... [29:25] grew up with them. [29:26] that's a rough feeling how many people in that audience yeah i would say at least 2 000 yeah and they booed and these assholes like yo we're going to the after party you want to go like no [29:41] But I stayed in the hotel room and I had a great night. I watched Dumb and Dumber for the first time and laughed my ass off. [29:47] Well, shows like that are important. They suck a fat dick, but they teach you. Like, oh, I can't just rely on, like, regional stuff. Yeah, then I realized, like, oh, you're only going to kill in town. Now you got to, like, figure out, like... [30:01] Like... [30:02] universal truths of comedy. Well that's why the real G's travel all over the world. You know the Jimmy Carr's [30:10] That guy, he goes everywhere. Yeah. Like, there's something to that. There's something to going everywhere. Because I've done comedy in other places. I took... [30:18] I took Tony Hinchcliffe once to Sweden. We did comedy in Stockholm. [30:25] And he's like, dude, I think I'm bombing. No, they're laughing. And then they stop laughing. [30:29] It's just different. They're different in Europe. They're laughing. I listen to your set. He goes, I never got a flow going. I go, first of all, it's a big place. So you're probably not used to doing a place that's this big. And then on top of that, you're in Europe. And their English is pretty good, but it's not perfect. So it probably takes a couple seconds for them to figure out, oh, very funny, very funny Tony Hinchbip.

[30:59] - You didn't get a flow going. Did you get a flow going? - Yeah, I got a flow going. - Yeah, I got a flow going. - So then it feels terrible. - But it was also, they were there to see me and they didn't know he was gonna be there, and they probably didn't even know what a comedy club was. - Right. - You know, these are all just people that came out to see me 'cause I was famous. - Right. [31:11] You know, this is like... [31:13] If you know, like, this was probably more than 10 years ago at least. [31:19] Mm hmm. But if you know comedy now, though, I think was a YouTube. I think kind of like all you need now is to have a really good set and you could tour the whole world. [31:31] Like James McCann, you know that dude from Australia? [31:35] Thank you. [31:36] Very funny. So funny that Shane Gillis worked with him in Australia and convinced him to move to America and then brought him to the mothership. [31:47] Curly hair, glasses. I've seen him here, yeah. Very fucking funny and very smart and really nice guy. Like super, super nice guy. But he... [31:56] He's one of those guys who's like – [31:59] He, like, if Shane didn't find him, Shane found him in Australia. He was, like, ready to quit comedy. Oh, shit. That's crazy. He's like, what am I doing? I can't do anything over here. It's, like, it's hard. You have to be a part of these festivals. And these festivals, a lot of these festivals, like, every year the artists will write, like, a new hour. You know? And it'll be like... [32:18] about a subject. Yeah, and that's another thing. They do those hours and after the year, they don't record those hours. There's so many comics. [32:27] in Europe, England, Australia, because I've been to those festivals that do their hour and then retire it after the last big festival. And I said, did you record those?

[32:37] Because you could have, like, have a backlog of shit to, like, put online. Right. To get... [32:42] catch people up with you [32:43] to create views. Right. They probably forgot how it works too. But they, they, [32:48] Yeah, they weren't doing that back then. But how do you retire something? [32:51] without at least having to like, [32:53] I know. One big record. One big record. [32:55] Well, they have a weird system over there. Like I was talking to McCann about what the festival system is like. It's like the festivals are kind of like the only thing in comedy. There's a few clubs. Like there's a really good club in Melbourne. [33:09] um what is that club called the law the comics lounge in melbourne is that the name of it i worked there uh with ari maddy crazy enough and hinchcliffe and i did that like nine years ago i think so there's some comedy clubs i'm sure there's some in sydney but i did one in sydney when you're traveling you're doing like these uh these these comedy tours um [33:33] And so it's festival-based stuff. There's a bunch of different festivals that people go to. And when they go to festivals, that's one of the things about Scotland. When they do that Edinburgh, those guys, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, those guys, they create a new hour every year. And you've got to come back and talk about trauma or talk about what it's like to be whatever. Right, right. Whatever stage of life they're in, whatever stage of politics they're in.

[34:03] American style stand up the way you and I do it. Mm hmm. [34:06] or the way it's traditionally done, they're doing story-based stand-up. It's great. It's not a knock on it. It's just a different thing. And if you try to do that in America, you'll probably get steamrolled. Yeah, I've seen somewhere that they look kind of one-man showy or one-woman showy. Absolutely. [34:27] gaps of talking and then which is great which is fine because like it's just a different thing it's just a different you're doing a different thing like when i'll say things that i don't believe at all just because it's funny it's like it's a ridiculous thing to say and also i want to get you thinking that i'm saying things that i don't believe at all like this is just for fun like this the whole thing is supposed to be for fun this idea that comedy is supposed to be [34:53] I mean, it can be anything, right? Right. It can be this like educational experience for taking people on a journey through your life and how you've come to this, to who you are right now. Like, okay, yay, at the end you celebrate because you're non-binary, whatever the fuck it is, right? Like, or it can just be silly. Let's have fun. Let's be silly. Let's say some stupid shit that you probably shouldn't say because it's fun. I need to do more of that. And I hold back from that. [35:20] Because you live in LA. Nah, I think it's just me. You know what I mean? Like I see you say some stuff. I see other people say some stuff. [35:30] And I'm like... [35:32] uh... [35:33] Thank you.

[35:34] I'm like [35:35] I don't even wonder how I'm not like that, but it's making me think now. Just if I'm to get to this flow state that I want to get to. [35:42] to the last dragon face, you know, when you're on stage and the glow is around you like, [35:50] I might have to like step on that plank. [35:53] a little bit you have to see what it feels like you do you do when we're hanging out you talk mad shit when we're hanging out that's true you say some wild shit no you just take it down a notch when you get on stage yeah you just gotta treat those people the same way you treat your best friends i don't trust people like that i don't either but that's why i take their phones away that's why they all have their phones in the yonder back but also the phones in the yonder back [36:23] me to not check my phone i want to like see if anybody texts me i get bored for three seconds i'm like what's in the news three seconds it's i get it but sticking that phone in a bag is good for everybody it's good for us because we get a chance to fuck around and we get a chance to come up with new stuff that like there's a bunch of times you say something the first time you're like oh that did not sound good right i gotta figure out a softer way to say yes i can feel people tighten up i didn't mean it that way it's just i'm trying to figure out the right way to [36:53] That's the way it came out. It comes out bad. Right. Patrice had a great line about that. [36:58] He's like, you've got to realize that [37:01] A bad joke that offends everyone and a great joke.

[37:06] Both come from the same place. Right. It's I'm just trying to make you laugh. Right. It's not I'm a devious person. It's going to sneak through some agenda to ruin your mind. Right. You're just trying to make people laugh. Right. [37:19] But sometimes people think something's going to be funny and it's just not. Right. And you try it and you go, fuck. And you can give up on it or you can figure out a way to make it work. Like there's been a – like Chris Rock – [37:33] had that iconic bit i love black people i hate so he takes that bit and he said it just bombed for like the longest time he could not get it to work he's like he knew there was something in there but it was just bombing right and i asked him how long he said it like a year oh like a year and then it became iconic yeah yeah he just figured it out and sometimes there's bits like [38:03] offending people. You don't mean to offend them. [38:06] Your season, your shot. The NFL season is rolling and every touchdown can bring you closer to a payout with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Every game is another chance to cash in. Don't just watch the action, win with it. DraftKings Sportsbook delivers the unmatched intensity of the NFL right to your fingertips. From the first touchdown score

[38:36] in-game betting. Every snap is loaded with opportunity. New customers, this one is for you. Bet just $5 and get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Plus, score over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV. Your season is heating up. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code ROGAN. That's code ROGAN to get $[redacted address] your first [39:06] bet. Plus, over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-N-Y or text HOPE-N-Y-467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call [redacted phone] or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill [39:36] varies by jurisdiction void in ontario bonus bets expire seven days after issuance see sportsbook at draftkings.com slash promos nfl sunday ticket offer for new subscribers only and auto renews until canceled digital games and commercial use excluded restrictions apply additional nfl sunday ticket terms at youtube.com slash go slash nfl sunday ticket slash terms limited time offer [39:56] And I don't mind doing that. Like, I do have bits. I have bits that offend people that shouldn't even offend people. Oh, there's always going to be that. There's always that. But there are bits where I'm like, all right, I'm going for it here. But there is like, I still have these rules.

[40:12] about offending people. [40:14] You don't want to offend them. [40:16] Not that I don't want... Some people... [40:18] Some things that I think are ridiculous, I'm going to go for it. Right. But... [40:23] there cannot be a paper trail back to me where I have to apologize. Right, So I'm like, I'm like, [40:33] a careful protagonist or a careful antagonist. You know, like I do want to antagonize. I do want to say some shit. [40:42] But I'd be like, I can't say it that way. So I don't know. Maybe I have to take... [40:48] more [40:49] more risk. I got to figure this out. Like, like, [40:52] You know how we talk about... [40:54] These... [40:55] naturally [40:56] Like, we talk about Joey, and we talk about... [41:00] uh, [41:01] cat and all these and cam [41:05] I feel like there's a gear... [41:07] left in me. That I'm having trouble accessing. Well, [41:14] Oh, that's interesting. And I don't want to be like them, but I feel like there's this freedom in my version of me. Right, right, right. Yeah. No, I know exactly what you're saying. I know exactly what you're saying. And I know you can get there, too. It's not like outside of your reach. Right. Right. [41:31] And I think it's numbers. I think that's a lot. It's intention, like putting your intention on that. [41:37] really working hard on that, and then it's numbers. A lot of it is doing numbers. One of the things I found when I was doing

[41:45] At my club, I was doing... [41:46] three nights a week, two sets a night. [41:49] It was too much. It was like six hours of comedy. Right. But – but – [41:54] It's like a guy who's training for a fight. Like you don't want – you can't train the way you're training for a fight all year round because your body will break down. So fighters, what they call peak. So they peak for a competition and then they get into the last week and the last week they coast so their body gets a chance to recover. So they go into the fight. They're basically almost killing themselves. Mm-hmm. [42:16] But in that almost killing themselves, when you recover for that week, you come out so strong. And so – [42:24] I think... [42:26] I was doing that for like – I was good at that for about three months, which is like a fight camp. And then it was like my voice started going. I was like, this is kind of crazy. Six hours of comedy a week is a lot. But there's a freedom that comes from doing that many sets. There's a freedom of like exploring thoughts. There's a lack of tension, which holds us back. And most things that people do that are difficult, one of the key things that holds them back is the tension. It's tension. [42:56] It's fear. It's like you're tight. You don't feel loose and relaxed. And you know you can feel loose and relaxed, so it's very frustrating. Like, what is that? Where is that loose thing? I know it's in there. I've got to find it. Yeah. [43:09] I remember the first time I killed [43:12] And I... [43:14] It's nothing now.

[43:16] But at that moment, it's nothing now. It's always something. But when I've seen... [43:21] Like, [43:22] Jerry Seinfeld [43:23] at the same club kill for an hour on a weekend. Right, right, right. In his prime. [43:28] I was like, oh, shit, I didn't really kill. I just did okay. [43:33] The first time... [43:35] Like... [43:36] Getting a great response. Getting a great response from beginning to end. After, like, you're struggling, you're struggling. You barely got one joke that works. Yeah. And then I went on that night... [43:47] and everything just hit. But not only did everything just hit, [43:52] I watched it. [43:54] Mmm. [43:55] I it was a real out of body experience. Like I was watching me [44:01] I was watching the audience, but I was on stage. And then when I was done... [44:05] And the applause and the laughter, I floated off. [44:09] And then it ended and then... [44:10] Then I was really addicted. That's when I got... [44:13] Because I... [44:14] I got high on stage. Right. I'd never even done drugs then, but I said, this is what drugs feels like. And I'm addicted to that. You got into the passenger ride. Yeah. So the passenger ride is when... [44:27] you almost feel like you're a passenger of your own act. You're so in it. [44:32] And you're so not getting in your own way that the other part of you is like, we got this. Let me take care of this. Oh, this is so much fun. Let me sit back and watch this dude work. And you don't get in the way. That other dude, he gets in the way. It's like if you're driving with someone and they're a backseat driver, like there's a guy coming on the right. I fucking see him, man. Relax. Shit. I don't have my blinker on. There's people like that. And they make you tense. Yes. Right? That guy is in your head.

[45:02] when you're driving, that fucking backseat driver, that is in your head. That fucks with you all the time. Like, you might think it doesn't fuck with you. Yeah, it doesn't, because I don't [45:12] I don't even hear it or see it. I just... [45:14] know that something must be there. You know what I mean? Yeah, but if you can... The backseat driver. If you can control that, then you're zen. And you get to that zen place, and you know you can get to that zen place, and you've done it a bunch of times, then it's the most frustrating when you can't get there. Yeah, because I did it that night without trying. Right. Like, I walked on stage just like that night, just like any other night. So what was the difference with that night, that... [45:43] I had this passenger ride. Were you recording back then? Nah. No? Nah. I got lucky that I met this guy, Mike Donovan, who's a big comic in Boston. He was a big headliner in Boston. Very funny guy. And he recorded all the sets. And he would bring like a fucking tape player back then. Yeah, you'd have to bring a whole fucking thing. You had a press and shit. And he goes, you never know. He goes, there's one thing you might say that is like the best thing you've ever said. [46:13] get it right and it might be like the best part of a bit you might have a like a new completely new tagline that comes in your head in the moment and it kills and it becomes like the main punchline of the bit like you have to record those if you don't record those you'll never get those i record all my sets now yeah and then you i do have those moments when you're like i didn't even remember

[46:34] the, [46:34] best thing I've said in months. Nobody wants to do that extra, extra work of sitting down and listening to yourself after you've already done Stan. I'm like, ew. I know. It's gross. It was tough for me to get... [46:47] myself to listen to myself. It's hard. Yeah. [46:51] But, you know, this is like... [46:52] I think one of the things that we're dealing with in – [46:55] this is what we try to address at the club, [46:58] is that there's never been like a curriculum – [47:01] of how to do stand-up. And there's one thing, there's no one can really tell you how to do it, because everybody has a totally different way of doing it. But, [47:12] At least... [47:13] We can give you like an honest framework of how we did it and what we did wrong and why we think we did that, why it comes out clunky. And then at the club, the thing we try to do is just set it up where there's a bunch of spots. So there's two days of open mic nights. So you have two nights where there's open mic nights. [47:34] And then you have the door people who are real comics who auditioned for the job with their act. So Adam has to watch their act and say, okay, you know, you've been doing this for X amount of years. You've got real potential. And it's like you get a chance to watch Colin Quinn. You get a chance to watch Ian Edwards. You get a chance to watch Shane Gillis. All these great comedians, you know, Jimmy Carr. All these great comedians are there all the time. It's like the greatest education in stand-up that you could ever get. And everyone's cool to you.

[48:04] Everyone's going to be friendly. Everyone's going to answer questions. Everyone's going to end. And then you get kill Tony, which is the number one place where a comedian can break out in America today. The number one place is kill Tony. Yeah. If you have one good fucking minute and you could just rock the house for one minute, you could change the course of your whole life. Yeah. [48:24] Yeah, that gave me chills because I've seen that. I've seen that there recently. [48:28] on that show. Changes the course of your whole life. [48:32] Forever and ever. You're at that stage where you've been doing comedy five, six years. You don't know if you could. You're living in Seattle. The scene's not that good. And you say, fuck it. I'm going to go to Austin. You scratch up some fucking money you made as a waiter. You get in your car. You drive all the way to Texas. You put in for one minute. You don't get up. You stay there. I'm going to stay on Monday. You come back next Monday. You don't get up. You're like, oh, my God. I'm running out of money. You start thinking I should get a job. [49:02] it and boom you fucking kill you fucking kill and then you go home you're like oh my god i'm doing it i'm doing it it's actually happening and then next thing you know you're a professional comedian you're touring all over the world it's pretty crazy it's pretty crazy because some people they'll just come to town for that one night or that one day [49:21] They should, if that's all they can do. And see if they can get up. And if they don't get up... [49:26] It's a drag. If you do get up, if you just do mediocre, that's not good either. That's a soul crusher. If you bomb or kill Tony, that's a soul crusher.

[49:37] then you got to try to come back. But yeah, it's worth it. Bro, dudes have gone on stage for the very first time in their life in Madison Square Garden to a sold-out show. [49:51] That's like the first time you lace up the gloves, you fight Mike Tyson when he was 20. They deserve that. They fucking deserve that. Oh, my God. You said it in a place where Mike Tyson... Yeah, it's like fighting Mike Tyson when he was 20 [50:07] You didn't take one practice. And your first opponent is Mike Tyson in his prime. Madison Square Garden. After he just beat Trevor Burbick. Right, right. Good luck. Or even before he beat Trevor Burbick, even better. Madison Square Garden, while Custom Auto was alive. Yeah. Madison Square Garden, sold out show, killed Tony. You're on the bill. Dice Clay is there. Oh, shit. Big Jay Oakerson. David Tell's there. Shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. Why would you do that? [50:37] I feel like some of those people are narcissists. [50:40] Well, some people are just insane. Right. You know, it's like you ever watch street fight videos? Like, why are you fighting? You don't know how to fight at all. This is so crazy. Right. And they're starting it. And then all of a sudden they're out cold. People are crazy. I know. I watched some of those backyard fights. Yeah. Oh, I watch a lot of those. Yeah, yeah. Like, I forgot the one that I watch. [50:59] But it's pretty popular. [51:00] And they got like a cage around it. Yeah. Fancy cage. Yeah. And they try to make it official. Right. But I'm like, I'm watching this more than I watch UFC. Because it's raw. There's something about it. There's something. What is it about that? That I won't.

[51:15] I won't watch. [51:16] Division II soccer. I watch the Premier League. You feel me? Yes, I do. That's a good point. Do you watch the other professional below UFC leagues sometimes? You do? Yeah, I do. But for me, I'm a soccer snob, so I want to watch. There's too many of the best guys playing [51:37] All week. I think soccer is a different thing. Right. I think it's a more gradual acceleration of progress. And then there's a thing about fighting where there's a lot of prodigies out there. So there's like a lot of dudes that you just hear about. Like I'll hear about it through the grapevine. Like this guy trained with this guy. And he tells me that. And then he's fighting for LFA. And this is like his debut fight. And I watch it. Oh, shit. Here we go. Because there's guys out there that you never even heard of. Right. [52:07] The PFL, these other organizations that are world beaters. They're like elite, elite fighters. So I have to pay attention to as many organizations as possible because there's always a bunch of people that come over. A bunch of Russians, man. Damn, there's a lot of Russians. A lot of beast Russians. A lot of beast guys from Dagestan. A lot of beast guys from all those fucking people from that part of the world are hard-ass people, dude. [52:34] I want to ask you about this one guy. Now, I stumbled on... [52:38] They said he's the best fighter in history. [52:41] He... [52:41] He was in the UFC loop. So he started out when he was 19...

[52:45] in this [52:46] thing where... [52:49] it's like [52:50] - Oh, [52:51] It's like flat, but kind of like a little slope. Like banked on the sides? Banked on the sides. Oh, you're talking about Frank Shamrock. No, but this was... No? [53:00] a black guy okay any [53:02] had a kid, then became a cop, [53:04] And then maybe like when he was like, [53:07] 30 got back in. [53:10] End. [53:11] He did. But this is like translating in ancient language. How do I not know who this guy is? You don't know? I can't remember. But he was a puppet to me. I know. He gave me. Tell me who he fought. You pulled up with your ship. If you just give me one fucking name, I'll tell you exactly who this is. I can't even give you one organization. But there's no way his name was Mike. Maybe he was the best fighter of all time. [53:33] Hussein is the best fighter of all time. It's a YouTube video. Yeah, it's a YouTube video. They put the comment. This episode is brought to you by Traeger Grills. If you enjoy food, and I mean really good food, Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood-fired flavor thanks to the all-natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke, or bake. That's it. Just wood and fire and flavor. [54:03] And what's truly wild is how easy it is. Just set the temp, load the grill, and let Traeger handle the rest. Grilled steaks, smoked ribs, even baked pizza, all on one grill. If you're into fire, flavor, and doing things right, check out Traeger Grills.

[54:20] This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Lots of places can accidentally expose you to identity theft. Doctors' offices, online retailers, insurance companies, the list goes on. Thankfully, LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone could do on their own. LifeLock keeps an eye on your personal information, credit applications, finances, and more. [54:50] like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, they'll alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Even better, alerts are automatically activated the moment you become a LifeLock member. No extra work on your part. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Don't wait. Join LifeLock now. Visit LifeLock.com slash J-R-E and save up to 30% your first year. [55:20] slash J-R-E for 30% off. Terms apply. [55:26] Let me tell you something. Okay. [55:28] So I've been, I'm not an expert. I've been to some fights with you, and I've watched a little, this nigga was nice. [55:36] I'm sure. Like, I remember, like, the first time I saw Israel. I saw his compilation stuff before. And this is before UFC. Right. And then I said, hey, man, is this guy real? And you were like, yes. Yes. [55:47] So this guy. So Izzy's a perfect example. I had my eyes on Izzy for like years. Right. Because in the kickboxing world, he was fucking people up with style points. Yes. This guy too. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[56:00] And... [56:01] Do you don't remember his name? Is Mike? You think his name is Mike? Let's try Mike something junior. [56:06] That's all I can't. Good to you. How long ago was this? Was it a YouTube video you were watching? It was a YouTube video. Is it? How long ago? It was probably like six months ago. Shit! [56:16] He's probably gone through 50,000 videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all right. [56:20] Jamie can't even find it. He's like that's not enough information sir. You can put that in the chat GPT. He was a cop and he's married to like a female fighter now. But he was like, his style was like... [56:35] You know the type of stream of consciousness type of comedy? [56:41] He would do... [56:44] the [56:45] the [56:46] You know, the Thunder kick on the regular. [56:49] Okay, Rolling Thunder. Rolling Thunder kick on the regular. That was just like... [56:53] Standard. [56:54] Like he, his feet were his hands. [56:58] And his hands were like feet to it. [57:01] And he was just very explosive. And he did... [57:04] One time, a few times, like two guys beat him because he did go to the UFC for a little bit towards the end of his career. And they did fight some K1 shit. He fought in everything. [57:15] But... [57:15] God, you're driving me crazy. I know, man. I wish I had more info, bro. [57:19] Because I want to know. If you tell me who this is, I can tell you everything about them. Right. [57:24] But it's like I'm trying to figure out through this puzzle. This is like hieroglyphics. Are you getting this?

[57:31] I think there's too many keywords I'm trying to lock down. I'm trying to run this through Jamie's brain. [57:40] Jamie usually is pretty psychic about this kind of shit figure out who the fuck it is but your amount of information is like I would think of yours as a suspect now. If you're a witness, I'd like the way this guy described the scene, I don't like it. I'd pull the other detective aside and go, I think we got our guy. This guy's full of shit. He's trying to throw us off the case. I think he works for the other team. He's an agent. I should have bookmarked this guy. You should have bookmarked this guy. I should have bookmarked this guy because I was like, I need to know if this guy is [58:09] It's really like this narrator is saying, but... [58:13] He fought in all the legit things. I'm almost thinking, like, are you sure that this was one real person and they didn't just put together a bunch of stuff? Nah. Did you get hoodwinked by some AI? He was bald-headed. How about that? Oh, boy. Had a low flat top. How about that? I'm trying to figure out who this would be. Light-skinned black guy. God damn. Lanky. [58:34] How long ago? I guess that might be better. Yeah, what year are we talking about? I would say he might have ended his career like the... [58:42] like 2008, 2005-ish or something like that. Because I was like, when I was watching it, I was like, [58:48] Oh, I got to stop watching for Spice. But then it got to... [58:51] Like, [58:51] oh, this guy's retired now. And he was like, he retired like maybe like, [58:57] late 30s listen there's a lot of guys unfortunately that are really good really good and then you watch him like one or two fights and you go oh my god this guy might be the best in the world

[59:09] It's just that the game is so brutal. It's the most brutal sport ever. You're using your body to try to break another person's body. Damn. And the most effective way to do that is to separate them from their consciousness. Damn. You know, or take their legs out until they can't walk anymore. I remember one time we went to a fight. [59:31] And then... [59:33] I said, hey, Joe, why are they... [59:35] You know, they walk to the ring together with their whole crew. [59:38] And then right before they get into the ring, they hug everybody. [59:41] And I was like, [59:42] I'm like, why are they hugging? They're going to be right there outside of the octagon. [59:47] and they're going to be yelling instructions and they were in the locker room together and, [59:52] But right before the person enters the ring, [59:54] It's almost like a goodbye. [59:56] Because I might not. [59:58] exit this ring the same way I entered. Yes. Or at exit at all. [1:00:03] Yes. You know, so that's that's what fighting is to me is like that's how dangerous it is like when you're like [1:00:10] Yeah. Goodbye? Well, it's the last thing you could do to support that person that you love that's about to go do that. Right. [1:00:18] It's real hard when you watch your friends. [1:00:21] It's real hard when you watch your friends get beat up. Damn. Yeah. Real hard. Yeah. [1:00:25] You know, it was real hard me watching Cormier when Jones beat him up. Right. That was hard. The Stipe one was hard. [1:00:34] Especially the one with Stipe KO'd him against the K. It's just hard.

[1:00:39] Yeah. Because you know them, you know, miss human beings. You know what that's going to do to them. It's fucking devastating. It's like, it's like a loss. It's like you lost a family member or you lost a dog. Yeah, it's affecting you right now. Shit. Just thinking about it. [1:00:56] It's hard, man. I start crying. [1:01:00] But like for me, the hardest one was Shob because Shob didn't want to quit. And I was like, dude, the thing about Brendan that most people don't know is how many concussions he took outside of the fights. So you see the fights, but... [1:01:15] He's just as far as Shane Carwin, man. Shane Carwin was the interim heavyweight champion, the biggest fist ever registered in the UFC. He had like five XL fists. Bro, he's so big, it was ridiculous. He looked like in the Avengers. He would be like the Hulk. He doesn't look like a real human. Like all the other people are there, and then there's Shane Carwin. He was a freak. He's a freak. He's a freak. [1:01:39] And Brennan Schaub and him used to spar all the time, and he would get knocked out all the time. That's crazy. He would get concussions all the time, all the time. He got a concussion like days before he fought Ben Rothwell. He got a concussion days before he fought Noguera. Like he was getting concussions all the time, like in the gym. Yeah, that's crazy. So I knew about all that shit too, and I was seeing the effects, and I was like, you've got to get out now.

[1:02:09] There's no happy ending to the guy who gets knocked out a lot. [1:02:13] It's terrible. [1:02:15] I was watching a video the other day of that dude who fought Mike Tyson when he got out of jail. Remember when Mike Tyson looked like a bodybuilder almost? Right. Was it a white guy? [1:02:25] Yes, yeah, yes, and that dude I found the video cuz I sent it to my friends. I was like bro I [1:02:32] Brain damage is real, fellas. Oh, shit. Because it's just unfortunate. [1:02:36] But you watch a guy talk and you go, oh, okay. This is just how it goes. Yeah, like Ferns. Yep, all of them. All the greats. All the greats. You know, Sugar Ray seems to have kept it together pretty good. Yeah, yeah. [1:02:49] But there's a lot of these guys. I'm not going to find it. Is that? That's right. Peter McNeiling. Yeah. This is the guy that fought. And he fucking went after him, man. He went after Tyson, which is crazy. Like, he pushed him away. He's trying to get after him. But, bro, Tyson. And he's got some movement. He headbutted him there. [1:03:07] But Tyson looked phenomenal back then. Like physically phenomenal. Look how good he looked. He just... [1:03:13] took him apart. Just that knockout alone, how's the rest of your life going to be? Because he's not even... [1:03:22] Did his corner jump in? Yeah, they said that's enough. We know where this fucking story ends. That's a good corner right there. I was reading about Jerry Quarry yesterday. Jerry Quarry was the guy who fought Muhammad Ali when Muhammad Ali had just gotten his license back. So he took three years. He wouldn't fight in Vietnam. And they took away his championship and they took away his license to box. He couldn't make a living for three years.

[1:03:51] And then he fought this dude, Jerry Quarry. [1:03:54] It looked like he had been on the couch. Ali didn't look like Ali anymore. He didn't physically look like Ali anymore. He wasn't ripped. He didn't look fat, but he looked kind of like – He wasn't the physique of old Ali three years ago. It changed the way he fought, honestly. Like, look at him there. [1:04:10] It looks good. But still a little pudgy. [1:04:13] But yeah, but not... In comparison. Right. So this was the first fight back, and... [1:04:19] Jerry Quarra was like this just really tough Irish guy. Right. [1:04:23] And him and his brother were like notorious for having like horrific gym fights. [1:04:31] He was a good fighter, man. Real good fighter. But he died young and... [1:04:38] He had terrible CTE and dementia before he died, and so did his brother. And his brother only had a few professional fights. See, Quarry had a bunch of pro fights, and he fought guys. I believe he fought Frazier. He might have fought like Ken Norton. He fought like big-time heavyweight power punchers and legends. Ooh, that was a good left foot. Plus, he's Irish. You didn't count the amount of bar fights he had. You know what I mean? But the big thing, man, ooh, damn, this is a beautiful combination. [1:05:08] how good Ali was. He even went three years off. He looked sweet. [1:05:11] But now I want to show you something different, though, because we're seeing this Ali. Mm-hmm. [1:05:16] First of all, take care of those fucking strings. Strings, yeah. [1:05:21] Hey, referee, tie that shit off. Tape that shit off. And cut it. Um...

[1:05:26] Show me Ali versus Cleveland, Big Cat Williams. [1:05:30] This is my favorite fight to watch. If anybody never saw Ali before, [1:05:35] I said, "You've got to see Ali before they made him retire." And then you've got to realize we lost three years of this Ali, who was different than anybody who had ever boxed before. Anybody. So this is prime Ali. Look at the difference right away in the movement. Right? [1:05:53] The one who fought Jerry Quarry was kind of standing in front of him more. And he was boxing him and looking good. But this Ali is like, good luck hitting him. Good luck, dude. Look at this. This is awkward. How do I stop this thing from moving so I can hit it? And this guy who he's fighting, Cleveland Big Cat Williams, was a killer. He had vicious power, man. Look at his build. Cleveland was a dangerous puncher. Dangerous puncher. You couldn't let him hit you. [1:06:23] He wasn't going to let him hit him. And, bro, he tunes him up in this fight, and at the end of the fight, scooch along so he could see. Because he cooks him. Is this before he beat Liston? Yes. Yes, quite a bit before he beat Liston. Because he beat Liston. No, no, no, no, no. Excuse me. I was thinking of – I was not thinking of Liston. I was thinking of Foreman. [1:06:44] He beat Liston to win the title. This is after that. After that. [1:06:48] So this is when he was already Ali. Because when he listed, it was in black and white, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. [1:06:54] So this was right before they made him retire. So this is like 1967, I think. So this is before the forced retirement. Yeah, look at that. Oh, shit. He just walked right into it. Moving backwards. Moving backwards with the one-two. And it's so pretty. There's no wind-up, man. It's just people who don't think boxing is beautiful, you've got to watch Ali, Cleveland, Big Cat Williams. And you should watch a little bit of Big Cat Williams before that. You see the slugfest that he was in where he was fucking people up. And you know how dangerous this was for Ali.

[1:07:54] You had your hair done, bro. [1:07:56] Like you had the conking. You had some women fixing it up and pressing it for the fight so you could go out afterwards. Bro. Like he never wore the suit that he bought to go with that hairstyle for the after party. Wait, did this keep going after that knockdown? Yeah. [1:08:13] Yeah? Yeah. [1:08:14] Oh, that's crazy. Let that guy fight another round. [1:08:18] Oh, my God. It was the end of the round. So he was saved by the bell. They used to have saved by the bell back then, too. Oh, shit. [1:08:25] I feel like because of his reputation and how many punches he's taken in his life, in his career before this, you have to... [1:08:32] Let this keep going. Bro, he just did the shuffle on him. Now he's feeling it. Look at this. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. See, this is the Ali that we missed. God, the guy got back up again. [1:08:47] Cleveland, Big Cat Williams was a stud. Yeah. To get back up all these times from that? Damn. [1:08:53] Look how good Ali looks, man. Oh, my goodness. I mean, he looks like a middleweight. It's like a middleweight fighting heavyweights. [1:09:02] And you know what was... [1:09:04] unfair about Holly and [1:09:07] Because... [1:09:08] you know, all the boxes back then had chins. So you feel like somebody with Ali's style would not have a chin. [1:09:13] But he had just as good a chin as anybody else, and he wouldn't let you hit it. Yeah. And then if you did catch him and get in the slugfest – [1:09:21] You wouldn't knock him out because this motherfucker could take a hit. One guy almost knocked him out, and they...

[1:09:27] totally cheated to keep it from happening. This guy. Fraser? No, no, no, no. This guy in England. God, what was his name? [1:09:35] Um... [1:09:37] I can't believe I can't remember his name right now. Because I was going to talk to you about Bob Foster. Henry Cooper. That's right. Thank you. Henry Cooper had a killer left hook. Killer left hook. And he caught... [1:09:50] Ali back when he's cash is clay right on the button and his just his legs went his head rolled back and slumped down like So it was like at the bell they get him in the corner. They cut his gloves To change gloves like oh, shit [1:10:08] This guy Henry Cooper was tough as nails, man. And look at that left hook, man. It's nasty. Look at this right here. Boom! Damn. Damn. [1:10:16] Bro. [1:10:17] Ali was fucked. [1:10:19] He was fucked. [1:10:22] So this is at the bell, right? So they get him in the corner. They gave him smelling salts. They cut his gloves off and changed his gloves. [1:10:31] to give him some breathing room. [1:10:36] Did they cut the part out where they cut his gloves? [1:10:41] I'm pretty sure that happened. I think that was an Angelo Dundee trick. Angelo Dundee, man. What a guy. What a corner man. He might be the greatest corner man of all time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think about the one with Sugar Ray Leonard and Tommy Hearns. You're blowing it, kid. Ever seen him say that to him? Nah, nah. He says it and Sugar Ray runs out and stops him in the next round. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:10:59] Thank you. [1:11:00] And now... [1:11:01] And that was a Hearns fight. [1:11:03] That was... [1:11:04] That was Sugar Ray versus who? Hearns. Hearns. Yeah. Yeah. [1:11:07] I remember all those fights. I remember the Hearns-Hagler fight. That second round was like the greatest round. The first round was the greatest round. Was it the first round? Was it the war? Yep, the first round, right out of the bat. Yeah. Okay, no evidence Muhammad Ali had his gloves changed mid-fight to get extra time to recover. Rather, it's an urban legend from his fight with Henry Cooper in 1963. Ali's trainer, Angelo Dundee, did bring Ali's torn glove to the referee's attention, but the controversy only extended the round break by a few seconds, [1:11:37] The fight. Okay. Okay. [1:11:39] So there was a torn glove, but they didn't let him change the gloves. He showed a torn glove, and it just happened to be torn right after the knockdown. And this is an urban legend. [1:11:51] respectfully. All right. [1:11:53] The myth is that he had intentionally cut the glove. Respectfully, he probably did. Because if the glove all of a sudden was torn right after a knockdown, how many other times in his career has he had a torn glove where the fighter was winning? Zero times. How do you tear the glove when you're getting hit? If he was in Henry Cooper's corner and he found that cut, do you think he would tell the referee? No. [1:12:16] No. He wouldn't say a fucking thing. Right, right. Like, it's bullshit. Mm-hmm. But... [1:12:20] I get it. He bought some time. Smart move. And... [1:12:23] One second in boxing is a huge difference. Look at that face. Wow. [1:12:28] That face when he busted him up. I think he stopped him by cuts.

[1:12:32] If I remember correctly. [1:12:35] I used to watch all these old fights, but it's so long, I can't remember... [1:12:39] The full details like I knew who you were talking about before you could remember his name. Yeah, I forgot his name Yeah, because I was thinking of Bob Foster because I watched this whole piece on Bob Foster last night people forgot about him and Bob Foster again He was the light heavyweight champion when Ali was the heavyweight champion anybody believe he tried I know he fought Ali and [1:12:59] At least once he tried to go up to heavyweight. It just didn't carry over. Mm-hmm because he was a weird Weirdly shaped guy like he was tall, but he was like he was not muscular at all, but he looked like a [1:13:13] Here, give me a Bob Foster KO highlights. [1:13:18] I got on a whole rabbit hole the other night because I watched this one video where they were talking about Bob Foster and about how deceptive his punching power was. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. This summer, soccer is here, and the watch parties will be going back to back to back. But don't worry. Uber Eats has your game day essentials covered with 30% off all orders from Aldi, Kroger, and Dollar General. [1:13:48] your door like chips, dips, wings, guac, and fresh ingredients for the perfect game day spread. Order in so you can stay locked in on the game, all the hosting, none of the hassle. Order now for 30% off your game day snacks and grocery order only on Uber Eats for a limited time. Offer eligible for 30% off entire order. Taxes, fees, and terms apply. Offer valid through July

[1:14:18] region, exclusions may apply. This episode is brought to you by Gold Belly. Gold Belly will ship you the most insane dude foods from all across the country. You got to try the ribs from Terry Black's in Austin, massive, juicy beef ribs that take a day to cook. [1:14:34] sink your teeth into them, Goldbelly will ship them to you anywhere. [1:14:39] And you've heard me talk about Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles from L.A. Man, now you don't have to sit in L.A. traffic to get some of that chicken. Just order on Gold Belly. So ship, Dad, something awesome from the most iconic restaurants across the USA. Go to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with the promo code ROGAN. That's goldbelly.com, promo code ROGAN. And then I'm like, oh, my God, I forgot. And then I went down a Bob Foster rabbit hole. [1:15:08] And it's also the confidence in this video. He was talking about, take me one or two rounds and I'm going to just knock him out. Is he the black guy or the white guy? The black guy. Yeah. [1:15:17] Bro, Foster had – look at this, bro. Bro. [1:15:22] This is like a mother beating a child. Bro, he's had tremendous power, man. Like the whip in his punches is like very similar in a lot of ways to Tommy Hearns, but he's a lot bigger. You know, he's a 175-pounder, but it's that whip to the punches that Foster had. Like look at that turn, like the amount of torque that he gets when he throws these punches. [1:15:47] he fucking flatlined a lot of dudes man he took a lot of dudes out of this dimension boom look at that left hook oh see the arms flail yeah like you know the arms let me know your legs are going yeah foster fucked a lot of guys up oh yeah some movement too he did

[1:16:03] He just wasn't quite big enough to beat Ali, you know. Ali was a solid 35, 40 pounds heavier than him. That's just too much. Yeah. [1:16:13] Yeah, he's tall enough, but not. Oh, that's him versus Quarry at heavyweight? [1:16:17] God just show you how many guys Corey fought fuck yeah, these guys didn't stop until they died no no well Corey died because of it much earlier like you [1:16:28] That doesn't look like quarry. [1:16:30] says [1:16:31] That's what it says? He's catching him with the left. Okay. Oh! Oh, shit. [1:16:38] He just went to sleep. [1:16:42] So Foster versus Dick Tiger, this is a good one. Because he said about Dick Tiger, like Dick Tiger was a champion at the time, I believe. And he said about Dick Tiger, it's just taking me one or two rounds to hit him, and then I'm going to knock him out. [1:16:53] boom he just he had this power that was just undeniable man there's some dudes who just look at that the way he throws it like everybody who like is a young boxer learning learn from this guy like the whip this is unfair too the the the reach oh oh the reach is ridiculous yeah say that to all mike tyson's opponents who got flatlined i know but that's why i like mike tyson like [1:17:18] Wasn't even six feet tall. It wasn't even six feet tall and he can get inside. Oh my god like a tornado. Yeah [1:17:25] And sometimes he'd stay real down low. Yeah, and you'll be thrown above his head and then he'd come up with it Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he would have fun. He was playing with his food back in those days, you know

[1:17:37] He was having fun with guys [1:17:40] He was having fun. [1:17:41] It was a different thing. We had never seen a heavyweight move like that before, right? So there was Ali. Never seen a heavyweight. So agile. So fluid on his feet. He looked like a better version of Sugar Ray Robinson at heavyweight. Right. If you can believe it. Right. Which is crazy. But also, he wasn't fighting the caliber of fighters. Well, I guess he was when he became a champ. The second time around, he definitely did. When he got into Joe Frazier and Foreman. [1:18:11] those three years. I don't know if any of those dudes could have touched him. Right. [1:18:15] If he kept that up, like what he was versus Cleveland Big Cat Williams, and you add three more years, because I think Frazier became the champ after he retired. I just don't think they beat that version of Ali. And we don't get the Jerry Corey version if this Ali is not sitting on the couch for three years. But it also... [1:18:34] saved the brain damage for way later than it would have happened maybe it didn't because maybe he wasn't agile anymore so he took more brain so he took more more blows when he came back he had to rely on his chin right you know and he had a tremendous chin [1:18:49] But it's just like I always as a person who sees guys in their prime because I think – what year was Ali when they took his license away? How old was he? [1:18:59] I want to say he was 27. [1:19:03] And comes back at 30, he comes back at 30, which is near quitting age.

[1:19:07] For a lot of fighters. For fighters, yeah. It gets near there. It gets near quitting time. Three years is, the thing is, like, he wasn't a guy that was like a Bernard Hopkins who just stayed in the gym, kept running every day. He wasn't that guy. And he was always involved in a lot of political things because he was an activist. He was a very outspoken anti-war activist. And they took away his livelihood because of it. [1:19:34] He was 25 when he retired, when they took his license away. Yeah, he was born in 42. That happened in the 60s. And he came back at 28? [1:19:41] Yeah, I guess. [1:19:43] So 67 refuses to be inducted into the Army. [1:19:47] immediately stripped of his title. [1:19:49] I think Cleveland Big Cat Williams is the last fight that he has before they'd strip him of his title because they wanted him to fight in Vietnam, which is just crazy. No. [1:20:00] So fight of the centuries. So he comes out in 70 against Corey. So it's almost four years, right? [1:20:06] April 28, 67 to October three and a few months. Okay. [1:20:12] Three years and a few months. [1:20:14] So 67. [1:20:16] And from the time he fights Cleveland Big Cat Williams, that was 66? [1:20:21] did say that in here. [1:20:23] So those are prime years, you know. But the big thing is not training during those years. The layoff is crazy. That's the big thing. I know how I feel after not doing stand-up. [1:20:33] For one week. Yeah, but you don't know what it's like to have your muscles deteriorate. Like your muscles will go away. Right.

[1:20:40] And your reflexes and everything. All of it will go away. All the twitching of everything. It might take years to build it back. Right. And in his case, he never really did. [1:20:48] He never built it back to the Cleveland Big Cat levels. He didn't come out and just move around like that at 30. He just didn't. It was different. [1:20:57] Yeah. [1:20:58] That was different, and it was a heavier... [1:21:00] ship to move around to because he was heavier yep you get heavier when you after 30 also you're going through training camps and you're not in shape in the beginning like that's a different thing like i don't know how much time he had to prepare for jerry quarry but i mean i would imagine it's not more than a few months so you could imagine you're you're saying hey muhammad we got to get ready like you're and he's like i'll be ready i was born ready why are you telling [1:21:30] Because he would talk shit to people and you couldn't say anything to them. Right. So if you're managing him or if you're training him, like, good luck getting the word in. He's the greatest of all time. I am the greatest. He'll have you training. I remember he was talking to Howard Cosell, and Howard Cosell said, you sound very truculent, champ. He goes, whatever truculent means, if it's good, I'm that. I'm it. Yeah, I'm that. Yeah. [1:21:53] And he said it with zero hesitation. [1:21:57] I remember one time he said, I'm so fast, I'll turn off the light and get in the bed before it gets dark.

[1:22:04] Nobody had been like that. Nobody talked like that. Nobody moved like that. He was a totally different thing. He was stand-up comedy funny. Yep. [1:22:14] He was standing. [1:22:15] Like when I watch his old videos, like, like normally you just watch a fighter fight. Yeah. I could watch a Muhammad Ali talking compilation. Yes. That's how fucking entertaining this motherfucker was. Yeah. He was so entertaining. Yeah. He was so entertaining. [1:22:29] And he, because of his refusal to fight in the Vietnam War, he represented a generation. Yeah, yeah. He represented the young people that were like, yeah, this is fucked. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. Like, what are we doing? [1:22:39] A lot of people were mad at him, called him a traitor, but in the end, they all kind of realized, oh, he was right. He was right. History. They realized they were on the wrong side of history. Yeah, because people don't know back then because the only war they had remembered before that, I mean, there was Korea, but really people remember World War II. Right. World War II, we had to fight the bad guys. We did our thing. We stood up for our country, and that's why we got the greatest country in the world right now. Right. And if you're not going to do your part, man, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. And then... [1:23:07] During the Vietnam War, it was like, oh, wait a minute. Something's a little off here. This might be a drug running operation. We might be like fighting in the jungle because someone wants to control drugs. [1:23:18] Is that what Vietnam War was? I believe so. A drug thing? I believe there's a lot of factors, but I believe one of the major factors was control of the opium trade. [1:23:27] That is wild. [1:23:28] Well, I mean, I want to say that about Afghanistan as well. Yeah. Because... [1:23:33] The production of heroin out of Afghanistan ramped up after we were there, and we were guarding the poppy fields. And it was for the opiate crisis that they put in the Oxycontin here? Exactly. For the same. I mean, it's the same thing. It's like it's all just heroin. It was at one point in time, I think it was 90-something percent of the world's heroin supply was coming out of Afghanistan.

[1:23:57] Shit. And that's why we were over there. [1:23:59] We were over there guarding those fields. [1:24:02] I say we, not me, not you. We weren't there. But Americans were. And Geraldo Rivera fucking went over there to visit them and talk to a guy, this military guy, who explained why they have to guard the poppy fields. [1:24:15] And what did the guy say? It was like basically saying, you know, we have to protect these people from Al-Qaeda. [1:24:20] Like, [1:24:21] Okay, listen. Al-Qaeda, we started. Do you know how gaslighty that is? Just think of how gaslighty that is. We have to protect these kind and humble heroin growers. We have to protect them from these other people who are just terrorists. Right. Who live here and we're here. We invaded this place to keep these people from stopping these people from selling heroin. Right. And we're the good guys. Like, what? [1:24:51] was it Rambo 3 [1:24:53] which was... [1:24:54] the ramble in Afghanistan. And then you watch the credits and, [1:24:58] And thank you for the brave fighters of... [1:25:00] al-qaeda is that really it's in the credits bro wow it's in the credits because it's [1:25:05] He, when Rambo 3 was him helping... [1:25:10] Afghanistan fight the Russians. That's right. So then we were funding Al-Qaeda. You ever seen the movie Charlie Wilson's War? [1:25:18] No. [1:25:19] You haven't seen Charlie Wilson's war? I haven't. [1:25:21] Frank Tom Hanks and he was a he's a congressman or senator [1:25:26] that figured out a way to funnel money. He knew Congress wasn't going to give money.

[1:25:31] like [1:25:32] But you know, like we give we vote to have a package to go to Israel. So he what they weren't gonna [1:25:38] vote to give a package to [1:25:40] help us fight [1:25:42] or [1:25:44] give money and weapons to al-qaeda people [1:25:47] to fight the Russians during their war. [1:25:51] So then, [1:25:52] he figured out a way how to get funding [1:25:55] and circumvented [1:25:56] to al-qaeda so that they could fight the russians because it's all a part of the cold war right right right right and like wait like [1:26:04] in Vietnam [1:26:05] Russia fought us, but through the Viet Cong. [1:26:08] and in [1:26:10] Afghanistan, we fought them back. [1:26:13] through [1:26:14] Al-Qaeda. And that's what's going on in Ukraine right now, too. So what's the deal with the Ukraine? Because I kind of know what's going on, but I'm kind of confused. [1:26:24] Well, we fund it. [1:26:25] We, along with other European countries, fund it. [1:26:31] And it's kind of the same thing in similar ways. But this is – what they really want control over is the resources. There's an extraordinary amount. It's soil, but the real thing is the amount of – [1:26:45] minerals, rare earth minerals. For the computer stuff and the phone stuff. Yeah. They're sitting on an enormous, enormous bounty of rare earth minerals. They also have natural gas. [1:26:58] This was part of the...

[1:27:02] The real controversy with why Hunter Biden was running Burisma, which is a Ukrainian energy company. Like, why is he doing that? What is the deal there? Well, it's like what they were trying to do is control energy and control the market for that. And [1:27:20] He... [1:27:20] had access through his dad to something, you know, got a nice, cushy job. But there's enormous resources in that country. [1:27:30] The war is partly... [1:27:32] Over that... [1:27:34] Right? Partly over we crossed NATO, NATO crossed the line that they weren't supposed to cross. We're not supposed to. [1:27:41] to arm them and have them nuclear weapons right next to Russia. Exactly. Right. It's not we obviously, but we are a part of NATO and NATO promised at the end of the Soviet Union that they wouldn't move the arms closer to Russia and they just kept doing it. Right. And, um, [1:27:57] The idea is that if they wouldn't do that, Putin would probably take over everything. He'd go through Poland. You need NATO. So I see both arguments. Yeah, yeah. I do. And obviously the person who invaded a country is the – The bad guy. Yeah, it's the bad guy. That's the bad guy. He went into a country and hundreds of thousands of people are dead now because of it. Right. Right. [1:28:17] But you don't know what the real motivations of war are until the fog of war settles and the dust settles and the war is over. And then 10 years later, somebody writes a book. And you go, oh, God. It was that? You guys just wanted money? You guys just wanted to control oil? You guys just wanted to make sure they stayed on the U.S. dollar? You guys just wanted to do that? You were pretending that there was this threat. Noble cause. The Vietnam War is a perfect example.

[1:28:47] incident with that boat yeah they made up an attack right [1:28:51] And then everybody's like, oh, my God, they attacked us. They fucked around, and now they're going to find out. We're going to send our boys. And how many... [1:28:59] hundreds of thousands of people died and how many hundreds of thousands more lives were ruined forever. How many guys came back? [1:29:08] just with the horrific memories that they could never shake out of their head. They wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Yeah. They see people die. They see their friends die. They maybe have to kill people. [1:29:19] Yeah. [1:29:20] Trauma. Trauma. And then Muhammad Ali said, fuck you. And everybody was like, oh my God, he's a traitor. You are not supporting America. And like half the country, just like... [1:29:33] Anybody today, half the country is mad at you and half the country loves you. Right. [1:29:39] After a while, became the whole country loved him. They all realized he was right. Is there ever going to be a point where there'll be one person that the whole country loves? Jesus. [1:29:48] like like did it it felt like it was like that back in the day like yeah there were people there were some people like that but now that was before social media yeah because even people like that back in the day where the whole country loved on television and in the newspapers in in real life there was always some guy at the gas station talking shit about that guy you know there was always someone at the gym talking shit about that right right people always talk shit they just

[1:30:18] The people he's talking that shit to, they'll be like, [1:30:20] the fuck is wrong with you? Right. This is a great guy. Right. That's Larry Bird, you son of a bitch. Yeah. How dare you? How dare you? Yeah. Yeah. Just because he beat you in high school? Let go. Today, they're like... [1:30:30] encouraging it. Right. You know, they want it. They want more of it. [1:30:33] Ah, yeah. [1:30:36] Fucking weird, man. It's social media. You know, it's giving the voices to people that maybe really didn't earn a voice. Not that it's bad. [1:30:44] I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's bad either. I think it's good. I think it's both. Yeah, even the chaos of these people that shouldn't get all that attention, getting attention, it's bad for them. It's bad for everybody. [1:30:56] But... [1:30:57] It's better net. [1:30:59] Like if you look at like the overall amount of good it does, it's way better than it is bad. But it's just a new thing that everybody has to deal with. And one of the things is the impulse to be a cunt. Right. But also like – [1:31:12] I... [1:31:13] just as a black person growing up and watching the news right [1:31:17] It... [1:31:18] It always felt slanted. [1:31:21] And against us anyway. And then somebody, either Neil Brennan said this or Chris Rock said this to Neil Brennan, like, [1:31:27] A lot of white people are finding out now that shit that black people always eat. [1:31:32] new. You know, about like not trusting the cops all the time or the FBI all the time or pharmaceutical drug companies pharmaceutical drug companies all the time. Yeah, they will drop a shipment of drugs and guns off in your neighborhood and fuck it up and ruin it. On purpose. On purpose. Yeah. Because...

[1:31:52] Shit, they're guarding poppy fields. [1:31:54] on another continent. [1:31:56] Where do you think that shit is going to go? You know, I've had that dude Freeway Ricky Ross on a bunch of times. A bunch of times, right? And he didn't even know who he was selling coke for. [1:32:05] He was selling coke for the United States government. [1:32:07] And had no idea. And he was... They were letting him. And he was doing it for the Iran-Contra. Uh-huh. Yeah. It was the... Yeah, Iran-Contra, but it was... They were funding the Contras versus the Sandinistas in Nicaragua. [1:32:20] Thank you. [1:32:21] He didn't even know. I don't know which side we were funding, but we were funding one of them. Yeah, the anti-communist side. [1:32:28] We were funded. Hilarious. The guerrillas who were fighting against the communist government, maybe? There is a bunch of those dudes that are just playing war games. [1:32:37] They're playing war games, and they get to do it back in the 80s. Back then, they got to do it without any oversight. Right. They just played war games, and they lied. [1:32:45] And then, you know, you get they're like, just tell them this. Yeah. I remember Jimmy Tingle's very funny Boston comedian. He had a joke about Ronald Reagan because they brought Ronald Reagan into trial. And they said, did you ever sell arms to Iran? He's like, I don't recall. [1:33:01] And he goes, Mr. President, he goes, next time you sell arms to people who hate us. [1:33:07] Jot it down. He goes, make a note. Put it on the refrigerator. It's hilarious. [1:33:15] But that's where Reagan literally was falling apart at that time, though. People didn't believe it. They're like, come on. He can't remember. You don't think that was just his defense? I do think it was his defense. Then you're not perjuring yourself. CIA was a Contras.

[1:33:37] National Guard. I think he was playing it off, but then I don't know because he did get dementia. He did get dementia. He got Alzheimer's real bad. At the end of his life, he couldn't remember shit. But I feel like he got the Alzheimer's like 20 years later. I could be wrong. I don't remember years no more. I don't remember either, honestly. I feel like towards the end, though, his cognitive function was declining. Definitely. But that's how it goes with guys in their 70s, especially if [1:34:07] And if you're Reagan, do you want to remember everything that you did? Definitely not. Yeah, definitely not. Alzheimer's is almost like a blessing. Yeah, all those guys. Like George W., you don't want to remember nothing. You don't want to remember the Iraq war where you tricked people into going to Iraq because we got attacked on 9-11 by someone who was funded by the Saudis. Like, what? Why are we in Iraq? Shut up. Yeah, I feel angry every time I think about that one because I was duped. [1:34:36] Right. [1:34:37] I wanted war. [1:34:38] I was like, we got to go. They got weapons of mass destruction. We got to go stop them. Like, like their thing that they ran on the news worked on me. [1:34:46] and [1:34:47] Like, I never questioned it. [1:34:49] Yeah, I didn't question it either initially. Yeah. [1:34:53] but [1:34:55] I did have a bit about it. Yeah. Where I was like, [1:35:00] It was like the only way for people to find out how dumb people are. Like the people that run the world, they don't know you. They don't get to hang out with you. They don't know exactly how dumb you are. They all went to Ivy League schools.

[1:35:11] The only way to find out how dumb people are is put a dumb guy in as president. [1:35:16] And see if everybody freaks out. [1:35:18] And then the bit was like after he tricked people into going into Iraq and starting the war and then he got reelected. [1:35:26] I go, he won again. [1:35:29] He won again. Like the people that run the world are like, wow. And then someone in the back of the room goes... [1:35:35] I think we can go dumber. [1:35:40] And he was right. He was right. They went dumber. [1:35:43] And we all felt duped by that one. [1:35:47] We all felt duped by a bunch of different ones. One was the financial collapse when the housing market collapsed, and then the guys started getting bonuses. They have to get their bonuses. The CEOs have to get their bonuses. You're like, what? What? [1:36:01] Wait a minute. You guys, your bank collapsed and you get a bonus? [1:36:05] What are we doing? It's our money? So you're taking our money and you're helping save these banks and then the CEOs get bonuses because if we don't give them a bonus, they'll leave and go somewhere else? What is this logic? [1:36:19] Right. The thing I don't understand about 2008 is where did the money go? Exactly. Exactly. [1:36:26] Wait, so... [1:36:27] Listen. [1:36:27] So these bunch of people had the money, right? Then they lost it. But when they lost it, it didn't get burnt. [1:36:34] Somebody else got the money. Exactly. [1:36:36] So then why was everybody broke? Because somebody else got rich. Somebody else got rich, but what were they doing with the money? Don't they do...

[1:36:43] Why did nobody have money? See, this is where you and I are regular people. [1:36:48] And we're not financially minded at all. Not at all. Right. So we're not the kind of devious. [1:36:55] market people that would see an... This episode is brought to you by ShipStation. When your company's growing fast, order fulfillment can make or break your success. ShipStation's intelligence-driven platform brings order management, rate shopping... [1:37:11] inventory and returns, warehouse systems, and comprehensive analytics all in one place, saving customers 15 hours per week on fulfillment. ShipStation compares rates across all major global carriers, including USPS, UPS, and FedEx, plus your own discounted rates if you have them to find you the best shipping option on every order with discounts up to 90% off. There's a [1:37:41] Trust ShipStation. Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features, no credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JRE for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code JRE. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. [1:38:11] summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared, even better if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts. There's also no long-term contracts and no technician appointments. You can get a custom system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. It's one

[1:38:41] reasons why millions of people continue to trust and use SimpliSafe. Everyone deserves to have peace of mind, which is why I'm happy to partner with SimpliSafe again and offer an exclusive discount. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash rogan. That's half off at simplisafe.com slash rogan. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Opportunity and take advantage of it, right? So what was the biggest transfer of wealth in modern history? [1:39:11] Thank you. [1:39:12] Thank you. [1:39:12] Don't they say that's kind of happening now? COVID. [1:39:15] COVID, okay. [1:39:16] COVID. [1:39:18] Biggest transfer of wealth ever. - Elaborate on that for me. - So what happened was, [1:39:23] All these mom and pop places got shuttered. Right. You can't go there. You don't have a it's we're in a pandemic. OK, you can only go to Target during the pandemic. You can only go to McDonald's during a pandemic. You can only go to Wendy's during a pandemic. You can't go there. It's a pandemic. You can't have your comedy club open. It's a pandemic. You can't have this. These restaurants. Are you kidding me? That's dangerous. Outdoor dining. What about the optics? Shut it down. [1:39:53] And so where does all that money go? Well, that money goes to all the other businesses that can stay open. The major chains. Walmart, Target, all these things flourish. The stocks change. Right. [1:40:05] 70% plus of all LA restaurants went under. People lost millions of dollars. Where did that money go? It got legally siphoned into other people's businesses that were allowed to stay open.

[1:40:17] And also with the stimulus, like a lot of big companies got huge stimulus checks. Like we got some dollars here and there. [1:40:25] But they got a lot of dollars. There's been a bunch of those transfers of wealth where you only look – if you have to look at it like a psychopath, like a complete sociopath who really understands how the system works, if they'll explain it to you, you go, oh, so that's what they did? Yeah, that's what they did. They told you you had to stay home. They told you how to do this. And why did they extend it for so long to crush the economy? Because it didn't crush the economy for them. Right. [1:40:55] places, the more you had to spend money at Amazon, at this, at that, at anything that's open. That's all. They closed the market down. [1:41:03] So let me ask you a question. How much... And I had this question in my head 20 years ago, because I noticed a lot of greed. [1:41:12] 20 years ago, I was like, how much people, money, do the people that got money want? And then now... [1:41:18] I still have that same question because I feel like [1:41:21] those people should have had enough 20 years ago when I asked to be like, [1:41:25] All right, let me just chill. It's probably a different set of people. [1:41:29] who [1:41:29] like they were 20 years ago. But how much money do people want? And if you get all the money and nobody has anything, do you really have money? Because how are you going to get more money [1:41:40] from people that don't have no money because they took it all. Well, no one's going to get that rich. That's a funny way of looking at it. But there's different kinds of people that make money, right? There's kinds of people that make money because they make a lot of things. That's like Elon Musk. That's his money. And then there's kinds of people that make money that are only trying to make money. That's all they're trying to do. They're trying to do deals. They're trying to do this. They're trying to do that. But the whole idea...

[1:42:08] It's just to make money. Elon's thing is to make things. Right. Like he's there to make Starlink. He's there to give internet access to people all over the world. He's there to make electric cars. He's there to make electric roofs. He's there to make spaceships that can go up and rescue people and bring them back down and land. He's making things, and because of making things, he's the richest guy on Earth. Right. [1:42:31] By the way, publicly. [1:42:33] That's different. [1:42:35] than the real world. Right. Like the real world, it might be Putin. It might be some, some king in the Middle East. Federal reserves who runs that? Yeah. Well, that's different too, because it's not like individuals. But yeah, it's a good point. But the actual one richest person in the world, in America, at least the way we Forbes 500 guy is the guy who makes the most stuff. It's Elon. All right. [1:42:59] You know, and [1:43:00] Then you have the guys that are just trying to make money. That's a different kind of cat. So those guys who are just trying to make money, those are the weird ones because they're just a number people. They're number people. And if they're thinking about numbers all the time, then they don't give a fuck about you. They're just trying to make more numbers and that you get more and more sociopathic as you go down that road. [1:43:27] that [1:43:29] that that that [1:43:30] Our brains can't do it, but... [1:43:33] Could somebody enter money? [1:43:36] an equation that they could come up with to prove that you could make more money from peace

[1:43:41] than war. [1:43:42] Yes, for sure. [1:43:44] And why are we pushing this equation? [1:43:48] Because it's the easiest way to do it. [1:43:51] The easiest way to do it is war because you trick people into doing it and you can control an entire country. [1:43:57] And it's like you're not going to make the same – it's like there's groups of people that will make the most amount of money from war. For sure, military defense contractors. Oh, sure. [1:44:08] They make the most amount from a war. That is their business. And you can't fault them. That's what they do. You need them because you need them. And they have a stronghold already. They're not going to give up. They're like a pit bull that wants to convince you to let it off the leash. [1:44:22] Let me off the leash, Dad. Come on. You see this fucking German shepherd talking shit? Talking shit? Bro, this is over in five seconds. Every time we walk by here, they're barking and yapping. Let's shut this down. Their business is to make shit and not only just make shit, make better shit all the time. And I was thinking that the other day. I was like, if they're always making new jets, like what do they do with the old jets? They kind of have to blow up. They kind of have to go launch some missiles. [1:44:52] anybody with they're just sitting around they're gonna go bad stockpile they're gonna use them yeah with expiration dates on that's their business man it's like that nicholas cage movie was a nicholas cage movie about a guy who uh sold arms lord of war that's right oh yeah lord of war if you're selling weapons you want a war you know and those are the guys that are getting the giganto contracts and then some guy comes in and he's like i pledge to double defense spending and

[1:45:22] Guys, I run to the stock market. Buy, buy, buy Raytheon. Buy, buy Boeing. But we as people, why are we buying this? Because we know the deal. We do know the deal, but we're only learning the deal now. Right. Right? Like as a culture, I think it's only been like 10 years where people are like, wait, what the fuck is going on? I think 10 years ago, most people think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK. [1:45:44] Even I had my doubts and I'm like the most gullible motherfucker in the world. You had your doubts? Good. Yeah, yeah. I knew there was something up with the story a long time ago because I read a book. But if you're the average person 20 years ago, you're not going to buy any of these wacky conspiracy theories. You were the crazy person. People stopped talking to you. You got exiled from society. Exactly. Now, someone that you're close with sends you a video and you just watch this and you're like, what? Yeah. [1:46:12] Oh, my God, they killed Kennedy. Oh, my God. And you watch and you're like, what? And some guy comes on a podcast like, oh, my God, they framed Nixon. [1:46:20] What? Oh, my God. Did I ever tell you what Bill Murray said? No. Bill Murray came in here. [1:46:27] The same guy, Bob Woodward, who was a part of Woodward and Bernstein that took down Nixon, he wrote a book on John Belushi, and John Belushi, who was one of Bill Murray's best friends. [1:46:38] And so Bill said he read the first five pages and he was like, oh, my God, they framed Nixon. [1:46:42] Oh, what? So the book was so full of shit. It was so made up. It was this made up character of John Belushi who he was with all the time. He didn't know John Belushi. John Belushi died of a drug overdose. So he fabricated this crazy wild thing and called it Wired. And he said he read five pages of it. He's like, oh, my God, they framed Nixon. Damn. Isn't that crazy? One of the most disgraced presidents of all time framed. So was he a good guy?

[1:47:12] He was not a good guy. Listen, this is not a binary thing. Nixon was not a good guy. Nixon also passed that sweeping psychedelics act that made everything illegal. And he did that specifically to target the anti-war movement and the civil rights movement, specifically. They wanted to take those people who were involved in the anti-war movement and the civil rights movement and they wanted to put them in jail. And the best way to do it, they were all smoking grass. They were all eating mushrooms. They were all doing LSD. Just make all that stuff super illegal and then bust them. [1:47:42] what they did and they they changed the entire the direction of the culture like what nixon did was catastrophic to human civilization because who knows where we would be as a culture if psychedelics were legal this entire time from 1974 so should we thank bob woodward or no because we don't know the bad shit that he did bob woodward was an intelligence agency right agency guy he was um [1:48:10] He was a naval intelligence officer, and his first project as a reporter was Watergate. That's crazy. Why would they give that to a guy where it's his first project? His first major story is the biggest story in the history of the world, and he just happens to be a naval intelligence agent? [1:48:32] What? There's like senior reporters. There's these people that are like beating the street. They're out there every day. And the guys who broke into Watergate, they're all FBI. So here's the thing. Nixon didn't have knowledge of it.

[1:48:47] But then they brought it to Nixon and he covered it up. And then they're like, gotcha. And that's how they got rid of him. And they also got rid of Spirou Agnew, who was his vice president. They got him on corruption charges. They kicked him out, put in Gerald Ford. Gerald Ford was in the Warren Commission. [1:49:03] Oh. And then... [1:49:05] One of the things about Nixon is Nixon couldn't shut the fuck up about knowing who killed Kennedy. [1:49:09] and try to get to the bottom of it. [1:49:11] why why did nixon want to get to the bottom of because he was worried they were going to kill him because he knew bobby kennedy because he lost to ken he lost to kenny so i figured he didn't like john kennedy excuse me yeah he lost to jfk in a previous election right and you know he knew that guy like and he knew who killed him and he started talking about it and the problem talking about it is they're like get rid of them i never know do you know he was like he won at the time [1:49:41] popular president of all time. [1:49:44] Like he won with the most amount of votes of anybody ever. [1:49:48] We look at him like a crook, right? He was a and by the way probably was at the very least he did cover up that crime He didn't say what they did what don't know I'm gonna we're gonna make a press conference And we're gonna fucking find who did it and we're gonna come clean instead. He tried to cover it up, but to me I [1:50:04] Like when I think about Watergate from what I remember of it, [1:50:07] was it really that big of a deal? Like it's so sensationalized. What, what, what was the real crime? Like what was the, somebody broken somewhere. [1:50:15] And they installed recording equipment so they could listen in on people. And who are they listening in on? To the Democratic Party. So the Republicans are listening to the Democrats as they're getting ready to campaign against them. It's kind of illegal. It's definitely illegal. But it's not that big of a deal because they're doing that to you right now. Right. Like if you have your phone and you know me, if you know me, your phone is bugged.

[1:50:42] Ah, shit. Good luck. [1:50:45] Those are all out in the ether, son. [1:50:48] And, you know, that is something that we had to find out from Edward Snowden, okay? [1:50:56] When that was exposed, we learned, like, oh, God, there's a mass surveillance program that's secret that's been around forever, and the NSA has been running it. [1:51:06] All that... [1:51:07] What Nixon was doing was just a version of that, or not even Nixon doing, but what the crime was was a version of that, listening in on your opponents. They probably all listen to each other now. They probably all hack into each other's emails. They probably hire hackers to hack into each other's phones and hack into each other's emails and shit. [1:51:25] They do that, man. It's a dirty game. [1:51:29] I mean, they've turned that dirty political game into, like, life. Like you said, if I know you, my phone is hacked. [1:51:36] Just... [1:51:37] the [1:51:38] Is it the NSA? [1:51:40] Who knows? There's probably organizations that are new that we don't even know of. Right. You know? Too many people know about the CIA. Let's branch out. Yeah. Let's come up with something new. Yeah. And you need intelligence agencies because the world is a dirty, dark place filled with monsters and a lot of them we put there. But – [1:51:58] They're still monsters. And like, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we got monsters, but we have to fucking have a wall and arm the turrets. Trump executive order quietly declared that NASA is now a spy agency. What? [1:52:09] How? Nuts! Yeah, this happened a couple weeks ago. What? They spy from space? I don't know. What does it mean? The executive order came out and there's just a redesignation, I think, of what NASA is officially. What does that mean? I don't know. It could be nonsense or it could mean something important, you know?

[1:52:27] Is this a legit, like, news source? Did they change the name of it? No, it's still called NASA as far as I know. [1:52:32] Well, yeah, here. The order stipulates the agency will now have as a primary function intelligence, counterintelligence, investigative or national security work. [1:52:43] What? Why would they do that? [1:52:45] The major departure for the agency was historically focused on space exploration, as well as space and earth sciences over its 67-year journey. [1:52:53] Not to mention that science and exploration stuff, NASA Watch founder Keith Cowling, former scientist and agency scientist, [1:53:00] At the agency now closely follows its internal and external politics, wrote in a blog post, there are signs that Trump's intentions behind the order were at least partially related to labor concerns rather than spy craft. The order also added that NASA to the Federal Service Labor Management Relations Statute, excluding it from collective bargaining representation. Ooh, crazy. [1:53:24] The news that NASA will now be a spy agency was seemingly overshadowed in the media by the president's elimination of union rights for thousands of federal employees mere days before Labor Day, despite multiple lawsuits challenging the change. [1:53:38] I wonder if this is because... [1:53:42] of private space. [1:53:44] companies because they're so far ahead like blue origin is far ahead of what nasa does tesla spacex is very far ahead of anything that they do it's almost like you leave it in the hands of private companies they could do a better job of space anyway and then turn nasa into this no i don't like why are you doing that the last thing we need is more spine more spies but i feel like when you turn something into a spy agency it already was

[1:54:11] Right. And you're just like, let's just make it official. Right. They put satellites in overhead. Right. And when we watch movies and they're like looking at parts of other countries to try to track down the villain in the movie, like – [1:54:24] They're using... They're giving away kind of what's really happening. Oh, for sure. So it is... [1:54:31] Basically, [1:54:32] Thank you. [1:54:32] A spy. [1:54:35] Well, if they're launching spy satellites, they're a spy organization. If NASA's launching satellites, that's mostly what they're launching. They're not putting anybody on other planets anymore, allegedly, and they're not doing anything with the space shuttle anymore. So what are they doing? [1:54:51] Why not be a spy agency? You've got to stay open. [1:54:54] Got to move around, boys. Can't be blockbuster forever. Yeah, exactly. I think they took them into a room. They said, listen, aliens are real. The spaceships we have are all bullshit. We have a couple years left. So use it for something else. We're not going to travel to the moon anymore. Settle down. [1:55:13] I mean... [1:55:14] I'm just... [1:55:16] Even the alien shoot. [1:55:17] Mike. [1:55:19] I believe in aliens. [1:55:21] I don't really got a lot of proof. [1:55:24] But the denial of it is my proof. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right. The harsh denial. And just like how we're talking about back in the day, if you didn't like the guy that everybody liked. [1:55:35] They ostracize you if you believed in aliens. [1:55:38] They ostracize. Oh, yeah. And everything from the it's like when they used to teach us, you got to drink milk, strengthens your bones. Then you realize milk passed a certain amount of time. If you keep drinking, it is bad for you.

[1:55:50] Like everything that was bad for you. [1:55:53] is good for you and everything that was good for you [1:55:55] We find out it's bad for you. Also, it comes around again because the real milk that you're supposed to be drinking is raw milk. Right. The reason why milk is not so good for you, especially low-fat milk, is because your body is like, what is this? Right. Like you've boiled out all the enzymes and killed all the living organisms in it. It's just like this weird protein liquid that I'm drinking, and it makes you fart and you feel weird. You drink real milk, like raw milk. [1:56:25] like. This is so much better. [1:56:28] It's way better, and it's illegal. [1:56:31] Why is it illegal? Glyphosate's legal. There's all sorts of shit that's legal. Like Roundup. What the fuck is glyphosate? Oh, Roundup. Oh, yeah, that gives people cancer. Not just people cancer, like anybody close to a golf course. There was some study about getting Alzheimer's disease, like that you can get Alzheimer's much more likely if you're within a mile or so of a golf course. And glyphosate was Monsanto before they sold the company to the German company, Bayer. [1:57:00] Exactly. So then Monsanto. Maybe Monsanto bought Bayer or did Bayer bought Monsanto? Bayer bought it. Of course. And Monsanto escaped. Don't you need a headache for your fucking glyphosate poisoning? Yeah. I can't even remember to order this shit because of glyphosate poisoning. That's nuts. Isn't that nuts? It's wild. And they spray that shit on everything. Not only do they spray that shit on everything, they make certain plants. They're genetically designed to be resistant to Roundup so you can spray more of it on the corn.

[1:57:30] of the growing cycle to dry it out, apparently. Right. [1:57:33] That's like a lot of the glyphosate you get in, your system is totally unnecessary. They just do it to speed up the process. But that's my thing. It's like, why? Because people are gross. [1:57:47] It's gross, right? [1:57:48] Like... [1:57:49] Sometimes, right? [1:57:51] The money they spend to lie. Right? It's like you could have put that money into making this shit healthy and good. [1:58:01] Yeah. [1:58:01] They can't, though. The problem is corporations... [1:58:06] As an entity, the way it's been established, the way it's set up, corporations as an entity always want to make more money. Right. And when you always want to make more money, you figure out a way to make more money. And if you can bullshit your way into making more money at other people's expense, that's what you do. And then you justify it. And you have lawyers. And you fucking keep people in court. And you drag it out. And then you accept a small... [1:58:28] a percentage of the profits that you pay off people with because they got damaged by your product, then you keep moving because you're a piece of shit and you don't care. [1:58:36] All [1:58:37] Say you win. Say you make some money. Yeah. But you spent some money. [1:58:43] You spent so much money like with the lawsuits, keeping people in court. You made more money than you spent though. Don't worry. But I feel like... [1:58:50] You made more money than you spent, but the money you spent [1:58:54] could have been spent... [1:58:56] to make... [1:58:57] a good, healthy product. So you wouldn't even have... Depends on what you're talking about.

[1:59:01] Because if you're saying the pharmaceutical drug companies, no. [1:59:05] The way to make the kind of money that they like to make, you got to – [1:59:09] do some shenanigans you got some shenanigans you got to do some shenanigans you got to mandate medications and you got to brainwash people into thinking that they should be on your side and that if and then get them scared and say that if we don't take this medication it could be literally the end of civilization like whatever it is like come up with whatever fucking people are going to die your kids are going to die everyone's going to be born retarded you just find a way to get [1:59:39] A lot of people are cowards. [1:59:41] And that's what happens in this world. And that's where it gets really weird because then they have an enormous amount of money and an enormous amount of influence. And then they start – [1:59:50] paying for the ads on all the TV shows brought to you by Pfizer. And that makes it look legit. Anderson Cooper. Exactly. That makes them look legit. It makes the TV show look legit. And you're watching publicly an evil... [2:00:04] union. It's an evil union between the truth and money where money always wins and money will distort the truth. And they're allowed to do that. [2:00:15] It's crazy because... [2:00:17] when I was growing up in New York. [2:00:18] I got bamboozled once. [2:00:21] $400. [2:00:23] Three card money? What was it? Nah. I was at the Roosevelt Field Mall. [2:00:28] And I was leaving and there was this dude... [2:00:31] And he was holding...

[2:00:33] A brand new box. [2:00:35] With a VCR in it. [2:00:37] And he's like trying to sell it. [2:00:39] I was like, how much? [2:00:40] And he's like, $100. [2:00:42] And I was like, [2:00:44] Amen. Can I see it first? [2:00:46] before I give you the $100? He's like, no, if I open... [2:00:49] Rip away the plastic and open the sparks. [2:00:52] And you don't buy it, then the next person who comes won't buy it because it won't be new. [2:00:57] And I was like, this is a deal. [2:00:59] Was it a brick? Brick. I gave him the hundred dollars. [2:01:05] Got on the bus. Didn't even have a car. Got on the bus. Drove home. [2:01:09] Open the brick. Open. [2:01:11] Paper than brick. But that $100... [2:01:15] Thank you. [2:01:16] Saved me so much. Yes. Because I always... [2:01:22] Like... [2:01:23] I was just always on a swivel looking out for like, where is the trick? And then sometimes I just wouldn't do something. [2:01:31] if I didn't even see the trick, because I was like, ah, there's something here. But then the Iraq War... [2:01:37] was like... [2:01:38] My version of the BCR, like recently, like that shit. They got you. They got me. They sold me the BCR. Well, you were in New York, though. You were in New York when September 11th happened, right? Yeah, I was in New York. Yeah, that's the thing. [2:01:50] I saw it on TV from the West Coast. But the people that were there, I think it hit you a lot even harder. [2:01:57] Yeah, I mean has to have hit you way harder if I felt it when I went back there, which was like a few months later. I felt it. Yeah, it felt different Yeah, that shit

[2:02:08] Like... [2:02:10] I was... [2:02:11] I was living in LA, but I was visiting. [2:02:13] Oh, I'm [2:02:15] I was so homesick from New York when I'd go back to New York back then, I'd stay a while. [2:02:20] You know, and then... [2:02:22] The night... [2:02:23] before [2:02:25] the trade center went down. [2:02:26] You know, Wilson Vince? Mm-hmm. He was living in Jersey City. And I used to live in that apartment in Jersey City. So then he's like, I'm going to have some people over. [2:02:34] So I took the train and took the World Trade Center, the train, the PATH train. And it's funny because back then when I was living here and going to New York, I said, let me look around. I miss this place. [2:02:46] Let me... [2:02:47] There's so much shit that I... [2:02:48] didn't pay attention to before. And so I was in the World Trade Center the day before it went down, like, like, damn, I didn't even notice how great this ceiling was and how much detail they put into shit. And I got on the train, went to Will's crib, [2:03:03] And then I got a ride home that night. [2:03:05] So next morning, my sister woke me up and I'm like watching the first tower with a plane sticking out of it. [2:03:12] Wow. And then... [2:03:14] I was like, I was... [2:03:15] Yesterday. [2:03:17] Sure. [2:03:18] And then I'm watching. I was like, [2:03:20] That ain't another plane. [2:03:23] As I did it, and... [2:03:25] And then I almost hid under the bed. [2:03:26] How far were you miles wise? [2:03:30] I was in Long Island [2:03:33] So... [2:03:34] 50? [2:03:35] 50, like an hour drive. Yeah. Yeah. [2:03:38] But I just like...

[2:03:40] I was like, we're under attack. And you're like, I don't know where these attacks are coming from. [2:03:44] And I don't normally feel like a coward, but I was like, [2:03:48] something, where are they going to attack next? You know? [2:03:51] So it was just that type of [2:03:54] a vibe but I'm worried that another one of those is coming [2:03:58] So [2:03:58] And [2:04:00] The danger of that is obviously people are going to die. [2:04:04] obviously [2:04:05] It could be horrific if something does happen, if a terrorist attack does happen. [2:04:11] but the [2:04:12] One thing, it'll wake people up to like what. [2:04:15] The consequences of what we do overseas, it means something here. It does. It's not just a video on your phone. It does. People are dying and we are funding it. [2:04:26] and there's [2:04:28] There's real evil in the world. Evil is a real thing. You could not believe in the devil and you could not believe in God, but evil actions – [2:04:37] are [2:04:38] documented for out for throughout history and there's only one way to combat evil you know you you have to you have to have a strong force of good but that that good has to be really good it has to actually be good and if it's pretending to be good and it's actually participating in evil and then you you find out about it you're like well what the this is like in 1933 and [2:05:02] This guy, Smedley Butler, Major General Smedley Butler, he wrote a book called War is a Racket. [2:05:08] in 1933. Damn, that's early. 1933.

[2:05:12] That's pretty errant. And he broke down how he thought he was over here to protect people, but he was really there to make it safe for bankers or do whatever the fuck he had to do, control oil and control whatever minerals or gold or whatever the hell they were doing. But he realized at the end of his career, war is a racket. [2:05:32] And this is 33 men. [2:05:35] They tried to get him to overthrow the government. The American government? They tried to get him to participate in a military coup against the government. [2:05:44] Who was in charge back then? We just went over this the other day, right? [2:05:48] Jamie will pull it up. It was before our time. So this is... [2:05:53] I think this happened... [2:05:54] Prior to that... [2:05:56] So 32 maybe, something like that. Some Woodrow Wilson shit. Some old-timey shit. They just got away with things back then. And now they have to hide it on layers and layers and layers of special interest groups and... [2:06:11] NGOs and money being flowed around and it's just it's all bullshit and it's that bullshit is all over the news and everyone's confused and everyone thinks it's the good guys versus the bad guys and the more people get scared the more people start looking for white hats and black hats and confusion is the greatest weapon. [2:06:33] So here it is, 33, the United States, okay. The business plot called the Wall Street Putsch was the White House, is that push? Putsch, you said it right, because it's a German word, because they had putches in Germany. So it was a conspiracy in 33 in the United States to overthrow the government of the president of Franklin D. Roosevelt and install Smedley Butler as dictator.

[2:07:03] organization with him as its leader and use it as a coup d'etat to overthrow roosevelt so they almost overthrew roosevelt imagine if he went along with that in 34 butler testified under oath before the united states house of representatives special committee on un-american activities on these revelations although no one was prosecuted the congressional was prosecuted that's wild typical even back then they're full shit that's 90 years ago the congressional committee final [2:07:33] were planned and might have been placed in execution when and if the financial backers deemed it expedient. [2:07:40] Motherfuckers, man. These motherfuckers have been dirty from the jump. From day one. Dirty from day one. Yeah, dirty from day one. Smedley, God bless him with that face. I wouldn't trust him, but he's more trustworthy than his face. He had Cash Patel eyes. [2:07:58] He probably didn't have glasses. They had shitty glasses back then. They had shitty glasses. [2:08:03] He has those Cash Patel eyes. Cash, do something to look more believable. When you're not telling the truth. [2:08:10] doing that. It's a problem. [2:08:13] It's a problem. I was like, [2:08:15] imagine that job like you say I'm gonna uncover the truth and you get into office and they're like this is where your kids sleep this is where your mom lives this is uh yeah yeah [2:08:27] It's cold. It's cold. You realize how deep the web runs and how the web is going to be there after you're gone. You're going to be here for four years while this guy is the president. And as soon as he's out, once we take over again, then you have fucked. The promise of something better from either party because both of them ain't shit. And you can only switch parties once. You can't go back and forth and back and forth. Nobody has. People have switched. They've gone from Democrat to Republican.

[2:08:57] Republican or Democrat? I believe so. If you're a politician or just if you're like a regular [2:09:04] See you soon. [2:09:05] Um... [2:09:07] No, as a citizen, you can go back and forth all you want. You can be a fucking complete schizophrenic and do it every month. Hilarious. I mean, I don't even blame someone who does that because if you're a public person, though, can you switch sides? You can only switch sides once. [2:09:23] If you're a politician. Yeah, but it's weird when people do because they don't just switch sides. [2:09:29] with like who they vote for. They switched their whole ideology. Right. [2:09:33] And it's usually like what I see recently, it's from liberal to they get red pilled and then they become a conservative. But then they go all in and conservative, like all in. They go hard. They might even go to the point where why is gay marriage real? They might get crazy. Right, right. And then it's hard to take them seriously because now you made a 180 degree shift when you're in your 40s. Really? You changed everything you believe in? [2:10:03] so hard to [2:10:05] people that's been Republicans that you're Republicans that you go overboard. You gotta go hard. You gotta go hard. It's like, [2:10:11] like I grew up in Long Island some hard pockets of hardcore more folks is there [2:10:15] but they were trying to be Brooklyn, but they're not in Brooklyn. So you ain't going to get the respect of Brooklyn. You ain't going to get the respect of Bronx, you Long Island. So it's like, we got a while out down here. Like we got to go hard. And so you play a place like Wine Dance, like –

[2:10:30] You don't want to go to Wine Dance. Wine Dance? Yeah, Wine Dance. I've never even heard of it. Yeah, it's tough down there. Some good rappers came out of Wine Dance, too. Well, Wu-Tang came out of Staten Island, which is crazy. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah, Staten Island was wild, too. [2:10:46] Yeah, it's just like you don't think of Staten Island as being the birthplace of the greatest rap group of all time. [2:10:52] But... [2:10:53] they had the credit of being a borough. [2:10:55] Like Long Island. That's true. Like Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island. Long Island is like, what are you? Suburbs. You're the suburbs. Suburbs. But they're like, no, no, we get down. We get down. They got good pizza. They're like, shut up. It's not the same. You're non-borough. Yeah, it's true. It's different, right? People think of it as different. Is it considered a borough officially? No, it's not. It's not. Not. Like, yeah. [2:11:21] You grew up in Boston. Yep. [2:11:24] Like, were you in Boston, Boston? And if you were, what about the parts outside of Boston that felt left out of the notoriety? Right. Like, they weren't getting the street cred. They had zero street cred. Right. You know? Woburn. Woburn? Oh, that's hilarious. Woburn. Framingham. Outside of Boston. Yeah. But you want to be. Like, if they go somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. [2:11:48] They say they're from Boston. They say they're from Boston. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. But the regular Boston people will get mad at you. They'll call you out. Yeah. Oh, you're from Woburn. Yeah, exactly. The fuck are you talking about? New York is like that, too. Mm-hmm. [2:11:59] I'm from New York. Westchester. Shut up. Yeah, you're not going to pass the second part of the where you're from quiz. And that's when they're going to go in on you. Unless you say right off the bat, you know, I'm from Queens.

[2:12:13] Oh, okay. That's real. There's no second question once you say Queen. I'm from the Bronx. Oh, okay. She's Jenny from the Bronx. It's always... You know what? [2:12:23] If you're trying to lie, just name, like you said, name the part you're from, like where you're from. But if you say New York. Right. [2:12:32] That's when shit is suspect. Sarasota. Sarasota, New York. I'm from Albany. Yeah. Yeah. [2:12:37] Yeah, I used to think it was all one place. [2:12:40] Hilarious Living in Boston, I didn't know So what is the difference in these boroughs? Like, oh, you want a 212 area code You do? Like, why? [2:12:50] Why do you care? I remember that was a big thing about L.A. Like that was one of the things about Brody Stevens. 818 till I die. Like you – when you lived in the Valley, you had an 818 area code and people looked down at you. Yeah. People would make jokes about it. I don't date people that aren't 310 or 213. Yeah. Yeah. [2:13:09] I mean... [2:13:10] That's why Brody was funny. [2:13:12] Because he stood on his. He stood on 818. He stood on the valley. He stood on the valley. Nobody rapped for the valley. You do like I do. I say, I'm from New York. I'm from L.A. He didn't say I'm from L.A. He said, I'm from Reseda. He named the town. [2:13:27] Name the... [2:13:29] the aerial code of his phone number and like stood on that shit. Like for sure, you know, dude, I never even tried to live in LA. [2:13:37] The moment I moved there, I was like, uh-uh. [2:13:41] I'm not doing this. I've got to get outside of this thing. I've got to get outside of this thing and then go visit...

[2:13:46] I don't want to live in that thing because I had friends that lived in West Hollywood. My friend Eddie lived in West Hollywood, right in the heat of everything. I was like, damn, dude, I like being right where everything is. I'm like, yeah, but this is also right where everything is. How do you sleep? [2:14:01] It felt like that's what you moved to Hollywood, to be in Hollywood, to become a part. That was the thinking. Yeah. So even, like I've known you. [2:14:13] Even you saying you never lived there, that's a shock to me. Yeah, my thinking was the opposite. My thinking was like, I got to get outside of this thing. Damn. I found out I lived in Bell Canyon for a while. And one of the things- Where the hell is that? [2:14:26] 30 miles outside of LA. That's where I lived most of the time I was in LA. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. [2:14:31] Yeah, I bought a house out there in 97. What? Yeah. Like, when I first started making money, I'm like, I got to get away from all these people. Shit. I wanted to be in, like, wilderness. Yeah. [2:14:42] First of all, I have dogs. I needed a backyard. So I lived in Encino for a little while. I rented a house in Encino, but that was too close, too. Encino was still too close. That's far. Yeah, I was like, I got to get outside. That's Valley Valley. I got to get away. I got to get out. I wanted to go to Thousand Oaks. I wanted to go way out. I wanted to go where regular people live, where you could just fucking take a breath. Like, I never liked the parties, Hollywood parties. I was like, uh-uh.

[2:15:12] run out of there. Get me out of here. No one's relaxed. This is fake and weird. [2:15:20] I was like, I need to live outside of this thing and then go visit it. Go visit. I was in it. I lived in Hollywood. [2:15:29] but it was in the cut. [2:15:30] It was like... [2:15:32] Ivar, if you go up Ivar, you're at the bottom of the hills. And it's quiet. It's pretty. And then you come out. [2:15:40] it was, so I was like, oh, I like this, but on the flats, it was, [2:15:45] Like. [2:15:46] just... [2:15:48] Like... [2:15:48] in Hollywood Hollywood. Like I get what you're saying, but I did feel like [2:15:53] I needed to be near it. [2:15:55] Yeah. No, I get the wanting to be near it. [2:15:59] And I thought about it for a while, but I just know me. Like, I need downtime. Right. I go hard. And when I go hard, I need, like, off time. I need, like, completely off, sit down, relax, and think about shit. Right. Because I need to know what I think. [2:16:15] And the only way I know what I think is if there's not a lot of noise going on. I can't just operate on momentum. I feel like when you operate on momentum all the time, you make shit decisions. You start going down roads. You shouldn't be going down. You're like, what am I doing? What the fuck am I doing with my life? So did you plot your life out a lot in a sense? No. I just go on instinct. My instinct was get away from everybody. Go quiet. I want to just wake up in the morning and have coffee on the porch and just hear birds chirping and see, you know,

[2:16:45] a fucking deer bounce by. That's what I like. I like to relax. That's some cool shit. Yeah. You have to... If I'm in Manhattan, bam, bam, fuck you. I'm like, I don't feel relaxed. This is a place for me to visit. But it's just... [2:16:58] My personality, like whatever it is with me, like even when I lived in New York, I live, I couldn't afford an apartment that had a rental. I couldn't afford a rental car space, but I needed a car for the road. Right. Because I take the total opposite approach of you. I did not do the clubs in the city very often. No, that's where I met you. [2:17:18] Yeah. [2:17:18] No, I still did some of them. Right, right. But most of the road is – mostly the road is what I did. Right. So I did a lot of gigs in Long Island. I did a lot of gigs in New Jersey because that paid real money and I could do an hour. I was like, I could get better in the city, but I'm getting better in these five and ten minute spots. I need time. I need real time to put together an act. Right. [2:17:40] Because when you're in Boston, you always went on the road. Everybody did the road. [2:17:45] So it didn't make sense to me to be like just doing one 10-minute spot and another 10-minute spot. I'm like, I can't. I thought the opposite. This is why. So – [2:17:54] I was doing all those shows that you were doing, like for the hour, for the feature. First, I started hosting. But then I was like, I need to get on TV so that I can get on the road. Yeah. And then people booked me in and come see me. So then I said, let me go to Manhattan, which takes me out of the hour situation.

[2:18:15] But... [2:18:15] in these 15-minute spots... [2:18:17] build, people see me, put you on this TV show, put you on that TV show, and like as a stand-up, you know, like the improv or whatever, like stand-up show that they were having and, like, [2:18:30] Because back then, it's like a few late night show appearances. And then boom, then you could be on the road. So I went that route. And that was my mentality for probably... [2:18:40] way after the shit changed [2:18:43] Oh, you hung on to it too long. Yeah, even living in L.A. Yeah. Yeah. [2:18:47] I remember... [2:18:49] This is, I was with Kevin Hart, right? [2:18:53] It just moved to L.A. [2:18:54] And I wrote on his... [2:18:57] Sitcom. [2:18:58] the big house. [2:19:00] And then... [2:19:01] He's... [2:19:02] Bookin, he's a good actor. Like, when he walks, like, I've helped him audition before, but I didn't really help him audition. [2:19:09] He'll just be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. [2:19:11] And he wouldn't say all the words, but he would nail the feeling of the shit. He's like, you don't have to remember everything. [2:19:18] And it was like it was an eye-opening experience. And then... [2:19:21] But then he said, I want to be on the road like Cat Williams. I was like, why do you want to do that? Get another TV show. [2:19:27] And then... [2:19:29] Okay. [2:19:30] Then the fame of the TV show will get you on the road. Thank God that nigga didn't listen to me. He went on the road. He's doing like $1,500, you know, the route to build.

[2:19:45] Collecting emails. [2:19:47] Yep. The complete opposite. [2:19:50] fucking kevin hart's kevin r yeah well he was always very smart about the social media thing and treated like a separate business [2:19:57] Because I remember there was a story about – [2:20:00] Someone wanted access to his social media to promote a project they were doing. He was like, no. That's a totally different deal. Like you got one deal, you got Kevin Hart to act in your movie. Another deal, you get access to Kevin Hart's Instagram. Like I built this. Right. This is my business. And if you want to do that, we can talk. But this is not the same deal. Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. Because they did that to a lot of people. They did that to Arsenio. I remember Arsenio Hall was at the Ice House. [2:20:30] came back. So when it came back, they took over his social media. [2:20:35] That was part of the deal. [2:20:36] And they didn't give it back to him. What? Yes. And this was a long time afterwards, like months and months and months afterwards. We were hanging out at the Ice House, and he's like, I can't get my social media back. I'm like, oh, my God. And he built that from being on The Apprentice and from being on the original show. The Arsenio Hall show, yeah, which was an iconic show. [2:20:56] I mean, he did everything. He did stand-up. I mean, Arsenio Hall was in movies. Right. And they took his fucking social media. Yeah. [2:21:03] That's crazy. Yeah. [2:21:05] It was crazy. But they were trying to make deals like that. When I was doing that show, Joe Rogan Questions Everything, they wanted to do that. That was going to be a part of the deal. They take over my social media. What year was that?

[2:21:18] 2012, maybe? Yeah, you had a strong... It was okay. It was not as big as it is now, but it was big enough that I was like, fuck, it's bigger than you. Yeah, it was bigger than... I mean, you as in them. Yeah, no, no, but it was big. [2:21:32] It was big for then, I think, your social media. It was pretty big, but my point is, like, for me, when they were saying to me, I'm like, my social media presence is bigger than you. You have a network. Your network social media is not nearly as big as my one-person social media. Why would I do that? Why would I let you have access to it? And they wanted to be able to promote their other shows on my social media. And then just dilute it and turn it into something. That's crazy. Not only that, they could write on it whatever they wanted to. [2:22:02] doing this. It was like their argument. It was like a hang up in the deal. [2:22:05] And I was like, abso-fucking-lutely not. If I post something, even if it sucks, I want people to know that came out of my fat little thumbs. Like, I wrote that. That's it. Whether you like it or you hate it, know that it came from me. And when they did that, I was like, oh, so how many people have been doing this? And it was a bunch of my friends had to sign off deals like that. It was part of the deal. If you wanted to do this new show, you had to give them access to your social media. Not just access, control of your social media. That is wild. Wild. [2:22:35] - Like, gratuity type shit that they put in contracts when you do like a standup set on something. And like, what do you plan on doing this material? - Ah, nothing. - And then they say, [2:22:45] They actually mention space and planets.

[2:22:49] Don't they? In those contracts? There's some contracts like that. And you're like, whoa, what the fuck do you know that I don't know? I read about a contract. I don't know if this is true. [2:23:01] some sort of a Scientology contract that is like... [2:23:05] Into infinity, like to the end of the universe. [2:23:09] Wow. Talk about covering your bases. Not even until you die. Like until time runs out. A billion-year commitment. Sea Org, here it is. [2:23:20] Wow. A symbolic billion-year commitment, which functions as a perpetual contract with no expiration date, [2:23:35] So the C-Org – [2:23:44] If I think – click on Sea Org. I think he collected that. How much were they paying you a week? Nothing. To sign off on that contract? They give you nothing. You get nothing and you're happy. You just can't believe you're a part of the Sea Org. I'm going to be in the Sea Org. [2:23:59] That's wild, bro. Wild. A billion-year contract. Yeah, that's wild. Well, they – people have been doing that, taking advantage of young artists in particular for it. [2:24:10] ever. Like, that's why Prince had to change his name to a symbol. You know, that's... [2:24:15] They they've been doing that to people forever. Jared Leto is going through that shit, right? You know, he went through that shit with his band

[2:24:22] And it's just there's always going to be a business that takes advantage of you and makes it look like it's not a big deal. [2:24:28] Like Spotify. [2:24:33] Like, I know this is Spotify, but there's a lot of beef about Spotify right now. What's the big beef? Just artists ain't getting paid. Yeah, the people who get paid are the people that own the records, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah. That's the, if you own your label or you own your catalog, then you get paid. [2:24:51] It's just what contracts did you sign? That's the thing. It's like if you're an upcoming artist today and you're listening to this, do you need a record label? [2:25:01] You don't. Do you really need a wide – no one's buying records. [2:25:05] How do you get your shit played? [2:25:09] Outside of... [2:25:12] All right. [2:25:12] It's easy to avoid a label. [2:25:14] right [2:25:15] Right? Right. [2:25:16] But how do you get your shit heard? Well, it has to go viral. Right. So it has to be undeniable. Is anything really going viral or is it? [2:25:26] Artificial viral. Artificial viral. It was both. Both things are happening. Yeah. There's definitely still real viral, but there's a lot of artificial viral, and that's what a record company can do for you. Right. It can make you go artificial viral. Right. [2:25:39] And it will go viral if you're good. [2:25:42] But it's like they can juice it up to a point. [2:25:45] What's the cost? They want like 50%. They want some insane amount of money from your touring. You're touring. You're touring. You're doing live performances. They don't even sing a word and they get paid.

[2:25:58] And that's where... [2:26:00] Thank you. [2:26:00] Like... [2:26:01] Artists used to get ripped off in their deals. [2:26:04] But they used to make money touring. Right. Right. [2:26:07] But then they cut into the touring now. Well, because they weren't making any money selling records anymore. Because who was making the money selling records? Well, the thing is, nobody was for a long time. It was just streaming. But then there was Apple streaming and Apple, you have to pay a dollar. [2:26:23] Spotify ate them up. [2:26:26] Yeah, they just nobody buys music on Apple anymore. I mean, I used to listen to before I signed my Spotify deal. Everything was Apple music. Yeah. [2:26:34] And for the longest time, I wasn't even using Spotify. And then once I started using it, I was like, oh, this is better. Right, right. And that was it. [2:26:41] I get it if you're an artist and you're not getting paid. [2:26:44] I get it. [2:26:45] I don't know what to say. I don't know why you signed that deal. I don't know what the circumstances were. I don't know how those deals are even legal. [2:26:52] Yeah, I don't know how... [2:26:55] If... [2:26:56] like [2:26:57] I got like... [2:26:58] my special is coming out on YouTube so I got [2:27:01] There's a way for comics to do it without [2:27:04] signing a big deal or signing everything away, giving it over to somebody for less time, [2:27:10] Then you should, or even if it pays... [2:27:13] Uh, [2:27:13] a legit amount. It's not for a billion. You can keep it. [2:27:19] But I don't know if you're a musician, like what... [2:27:23] way you can get your shit heard you got to put it out like that you got to put it out on youtube put it out on social media someone has to retweet it someone has to hear about it talk about it on a podcast you can get it out you know we were talking about it's a little late but we were talking about that johnny thunder song i'm alive we played it yesterday and then jamie brought up that after we first started playing it on the podcast like two years ago it's a song from 1969

[2:27:53] And Brian Simpson brought it to the mothership. And he's like, this is going to be one of your favorite songs. You've got to listen to this. And we played it in the green room. And I was like, holy shit. And we had to figure out that it was from 1969. I'm like, when was this? Who was this guy? What is the deal? The dude back then apparently was still alive. And he died like a year later. So he might have died knowing that his song had started to become big again. Because then it started appearing in commercials. It was in a bunch of commercials. What were the commercials again? [2:28:23] you [2:28:23] Samsung, Lincoln, Mountain Dew. Did he own it? [2:28:29] I don't think so. He only had this one song that was amazing. That's what I was looking at up yesterday. He actually had a Billboard hit. [2:28:38] before that. [2:28:39] What was that one? [2:28:40] loop-de-loop. Was it good? I was going to play it yesterday, but I didn't get to it. Let's play it. Let's say a loop-de-loop. Let's say a loop-de-loop. [2:28:48] But the point is, like, he should have been a star. He should have been, I say Johnny Thunder, and you're like, oh, I love that dude. His second album's amazing. He should have been at least Chubby Checker. That's number four on the pop chart. [2:29:03] Chubby Checker got so much mileage off the twist. I've never seen somebody get that much mileage. [2:29:08] I have to edit this out. [2:29:11] Yeah, we'll edit it out. All right, kill this. This is terrible. Now play... He looked like the dude that was fighting Muhammad Ali. In his earlier... I was like, what's that? Now play I'm Alive. Now this is the fucking jam, son.

[2:29:27] This song. [2:29:28] I listen to this song all the time. This is on regular playback. Woo! First of all, he looks like a Def Jam comic. [2:29:38] That's number one. [2:29:41] Or even like... [2:29:43] Like an Arsenio Hall back in the days. So what year was this, Jamie? This one was 69. Wow. And then I also read that he had been performing with... [2:29:53] The Drifters? And did the backup vocals, I think, for like Dionne Warwick or something like that? See, that song to me is just proof that [2:30:01] There's a lot of factors involved in making it. [2:30:03] Because that guy should have been a fucking superstar. That is a superstar song. Yeah, because I'm listening to just the opening. Yeah. Yeah. [2:30:12] I was like, let's stop there. Let's stop there and take that in for a second. [2:30:17] And then it switched. I wasn't even ready for the switch, but I was like, let me go with this. [2:30:23] And it's so good. Then I could see it in like the beginning or the end of so many TV shows. Right. [2:30:30] Like, I was like, oh, this is... This is the guy that wrote that song. Tommy James. And performed it and recorded it a year after. [2:30:37] That's what we just listened to. [2:30:40] Wow. Tommy James and the Shondell. He sang Monee Monee. [2:30:44] That was another song that like [2:30:47] Oh, God. [2:30:48] That was a famous song that, what's his face? [2:30:51] uh... [2:30:53] The guy with the hair. [2:30:55] God damn it [2:30:56] Billy Idol. Billy Idol. Billy Idol came out with it. Wow.

[2:31:01] Which also seems like a million years ago. [2:31:04] That was when I was in high school. [2:31:06] How weird man. I know. [2:31:08] first of all weird the when he when loopty loop was a hit and then he made the other song it wasn't a hit i know he was pissed i know can you imagine imagine like that's what y'all like loopty loop y'all ain't heard alive this is i've this listen to their live shit it's sometimes people just put it all together for once i mean that's the thing about songs right like the one hit wonder thing yeah it's a different time i mean it was the early 60s [2:31:38] People were still naive. They were goofy. They were still father knows best. Father knows best. Leave it to Beaver. They were goofy. People were goofy in 63. By 69, they got wild. It was real quick. [2:31:53] people with [2:31:54] Internet minds back then did. [2:31:57] Drugs or people with internet mind and internet mentality. How did they mask in society? How did they comic books? They read a lot of comic books Yeah, they went to comic book shops. They went to like punk rock concerts. Yeah, yeah, they don't like fine group They went to CBGB's. Yeah, they had a fine places where they could fit in and [2:32:19] There's no online forums for that. No, it was a factory for turning people into drones. Right. That was society back then. Turned you into a worker drone. Yeah. Yeah. [2:32:30] Oof. [2:32:31] Yeah, because school already trains us for it. Yep. Like every – the bell rings, you get up, you go to the next class. It's designed for that. Yeah. It's not the best way to teach kids. And guys like you and I, they label you as like ADHD or something, right? Yeah, yeah. Did you get labeled?

[2:32:46] I didn't get labeled. [2:32:48] Because I don't know why. I kind of... [2:32:51] Like my father and them was like, you know, they're immigrants. They're like, so you got to work hard. You know what I mean? [2:32:58] So you got to like apply yourself and you, this is a, [2:33:02] They went out of their way to provide this opportunity. So I didn't want to blow it up to a certain point, but at a certain point, [2:33:10] Like, I was... [2:33:12] going to do comedy, which was something that they... [2:33:14] didn't. [2:33:15] expect [2:33:16] or would have wanted me. [2:33:18] to do. But high school, [2:33:20] in college. [2:33:22] Like, I didn't mind. [2:33:23] You know what I mean? [2:33:24] Maybe around college, that's when shit started to get a little wonky. But the high school shit... [2:33:30] Like, all right, I can get some good grades. [2:33:33] I can follow that blueprint up until there and a little bit after. [2:33:37] But in college, that's when shit, like... Well, then they're prepping you for the real world, and you realize it's going to be your whole day doing shit you don't want to do. And there's no joy in Mudville. You're like, fuck. Right. [2:33:48] Unless you're into it. Unless like college is like whatever subject that you want to pursue in life is that's the way to go. You know, if you want to be an astronomer, that's how you learn. You know, but for for comic like college is just like, why? Why am I forced to do this? Like, why am I making myself do this? Like, what is the end goal? If I get a job, I'm fucked. Right. I knew that. [2:34:10] I always wanted to have... [2:34:12] make a decent amount of money, [2:34:13] and be middle class. That was the, I was like, so you got to go to college, right? To do that. That's the way we were programmed. Right.

[2:34:21] But the instant comedy came into my mind. [2:34:26] It was never a risk for me. [2:34:29] Like I was never risking that stability. [2:34:33] for [2:34:34] the [2:34:34] gamble of comedy. What did it feel like? [2:34:37] Instead of a risk. [2:34:38] . [2:34:39] The only thing to do. [2:34:40] Mm-hmm. [2:34:42] Yeah, I know what you mean. Like, there was a switch? [2:34:46] And once you turned it on, that shit was broke. It couldn't go back the other way. And this is what we was doing. [2:34:51] Yeah [2:34:53] That's kind of how you have to be if you want to do it. I think that's the same with music. I think that's the same with literature. You want to write books. I feel lucky about it, though. [2:35:03] Yeah, for sure. Because... [2:35:06] there's people that were able to turn their switch [2:35:10] back off. [2:35:12] Mine is still [2:35:13] On. Well, that's because you're doing the right thing. You're doing the thing that you're supposed to be doing. Right. There's people that turn that switch off because something else drags them in. Or they can't beat their demons. Right, right. You know, there's a lot of people that – there's a lot of different – there's some demons that are not even – [2:35:33] dark demons. They're like gray demons, like depression. They can't be the demon of a dull depression. They don't have the energy to write. They don't have the energy to perform. They don't have the energy to eat healthy. They don't have the energy to do shit. And then they just settle into a mundane life. [2:35:50] Because they can't beat those demons. And they also don't have support. There's a lot of those dudes that get real dark because they don't have support. They're not friends. They're not friends.

[2:36:00] Listen, and I... [2:36:02] And I feel I don't I feel bad for those people. I don't know. We don't even know what happened to this guy. [2:36:09] who we just played. Like, what... [2:36:10] What went wrong, what deterred him, what took him off track. But he clearly had something. I've seen people with something. [2:36:19] And I like, I remember, damn, I don't know if I can remember Zane. We're all doing open mics. [2:36:25] Like we're grinding, we're bombing. [2:36:27] Then this guy comes in one night. [2:36:30] And he's at the governor's. [2:36:33] He goes on stage. [2:36:34] He's our age. [2:36:35] He rips. [2:36:37] Amen. [2:36:38] Where I like, even where I like. Wow. [2:36:42] Hey Mouse! [2:36:44] What's your name? [2:36:45] Tells us. [2:36:46] His name might come to me in a minute. I said, how long you been doing it? [2:36:51] This is my first time [2:36:53] And then it was like that every time he went on stage. [2:36:57] And we hung out with him. [2:36:59] And it was just... [2:37:00] Well, like this guy. [2:37:02] What? [2:37:02] It's like, we're pleased for him. We're his biggest fans, and we're angry at him at the same time. And then... [2:37:09] He just disappeared. Yeah. [2:37:12] Mmm. [2:37:13] Yeah. [2:37:14] Then I ran into him in Queens and he was kind of doing it. [2:37:17] But it wasn't the same like the Muhammad Ali thing. He stopped training for. [2:37:23] enough years to like [2:37:26] lose it all. [2:37:27] To not even be as good as... [2:37:29] the first time we saw him, which was his first time.

[2:37:33] one of the reasons why I talk about [2:37:35] the way I approach things is because I think, [2:37:41] I wish someone had told me the little pitfalls that life will... [2:37:46] throw you and the little games that will be played in front of you where you have to make decisions and [2:37:53] of which way to go. And if something went wrong, you got to make a decision to pull yourself up and figure out how to make it better. Like, what do I have to do to keep going? But clearly, I'm on a path. Other people are doing this path. I got to figure out how to do this. [2:38:07] Some people just get to those pitfalls and then they never recover. [2:38:11] They just start drinking. They start eating too much. They start doing this. They start doing that. They get into a bad funk. They lose some money. They get into a toxic relationship. That's a big one. That's a big one. That's one of the big distractions that people do, and they don't even realize they're doing it. [2:38:27] You're distracting yourself from having success in life by being addicted to this relationship that you're in with this person where you yell at each other and who knows? Who knows what your particular brand of chaos is? But the one thing that it has in common, it's a gigantic distraction from you doing what you want to do in life. And you don't have your shit together, so you find someone else who doesn't have your shit together, and you pile all your shit together and make it way worse. And you both fuck each other's lives up. And at the end of it, maybe one of you will write a song about it. [2:38:57] But that's when it's worth it. That's it, baby. Even when you're talking about bad relationships, I'm like, shit, that's material. It is material. It is material. It's a lot of fun. I never go on a bad date because if a date is good, it's good. If it's bad, then it's material.

[2:39:12] You know what I mean? That's true. So comics complain about dates. I'm like, that's an experience. That's some shit you could bring to the stage. Right. Like, why are you down about this? How many times has someone told you a crazy story, like in the green room or something like that? [2:39:27] have you said that on stage yet? Yeah. And you're like, no, can I? Yeah, I tell people all the time, like, that is... [2:39:34] Like sometimes my friend, he just broke up with his girl. He's sad. He's talking about it. I said, damn. [2:39:40] this nigga don't know how funny he's about to be. [2:39:44] He's crying. He's crying. [2:39:49] Some of the greatest comedy came out of Broken Hearts. Yeah. Look at Kinnison. [2:39:53] I was married twice. This whole thing. Yeah. This whole thing was like... [2:39:58] Just getting his heart broken. Right. One of his best bits was he sat at the piano and sang a love song to his ex. It's like, I hope you die. I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own blood. Die. Die. I want my records back. I want my fucking records back. I want my records back. It was like, you looked at him and you just believed it all. Because, like, of course, he's a little fat guy with no hair. People are going to dump on him. [2:40:28] out. You know, even if you're famous and you look like that, it's going to, they're going to get tired of you. He's a walking underdog story without, without, without even fucking explaining it and turning that shit into something. Yeah. How do you not gravitate to, [2:40:42] towards that. Like, every heartbreak...

[2:40:45] that I've experienced like underneath in me, I'm like, man, [2:40:49] don't worry once this cloud lifts [2:40:53] you'll be able to talk about this on stage. Yeah. That's a part of the survival of... [2:41:00] That's how... [2:41:02] far gone in this I am. And I'm just realizing it now as I talk to you. [2:41:08] That's funny. Yeah. That's how... That's like... [2:41:12] Uh... [2:41:13] Yeah, it's like... [2:41:15] Trying to think of like when bad like I got into somebody hit my car. [2:41:20] This is going on stage. [2:41:22] or just anything. Yeah. So it's like, [2:41:25] And sometimes I'm [2:41:27] I don't have that many civilian friends anymore. [2:41:30] But sometimes I used to just complain. [2:41:32] on the phone about an interaction. You know what's funny? Like military people do not like us talking about non-comedians or civilians. [2:41:41] We're at war, baby. I'm just kidding. I know. I cannot. Military people, I get that. I get it. But that is the term we have used forever. Forever. [2:41:51] Like the first time I heard somebody say it, I was like, how did you know that I say that? The first time I ever heard a comic refer to other people. [2:41:58] to non-comics as civilians, [2:42:00] I was like, that's what I say in my head. [2:42:02] How the fuck did you? And it's like nobody's stealing it from each other. Right, right, right. But all our terms are related to battle. Like you bombed, killed, died. You know what I mean? So it's like we all got battle terms. Yeah, well, because it is kind of a mental battle. Right. There's a weird battle of control, and there's always a lot of drunk people in the audience that don't want you taking control. They want to take control of you. I mean, Don L. Rollins got his start as a heckler.

[2:42:29] hilarious don l raleigh that's how he proudly he's like i'm a proud hacker son it's really funny but it's like so it is kind of there's a battle too and it's also a battle of your own self there's a battle inside of you to try to like what we were talking about before to get to that flow state yeah like what is that battle yeah there's some nights i don't have it i don't it doesn't come then other nights it's right there the moment i start talking i'm smiling i'm [2:42:59] Do you have an inkling of it before? Did you do anything to get there? I always think about that. Generally, it has to be a day that I work out. For me, I work out so much that if I don't work out, I get a little... [2:43:14] Just a little tense. First of all, you're in disrespectful shape. [2:43:19] You're in shape. This is disrespectful to me. Well, you got to eat meat if you want to get in those kind of shapes, son. We got to get chopped up soybeans. We're the elk at. I ate some today. [2:43:30] I cooked up some heart. I cooked up some heart for lunch. Oh, shit. It's good. Heart for lunch. Yeah. That's what I ate. [2:43:37] Elkhart. Elkhart. Fuck it. That's a big key, man. Protein. Animal protein. It's very important for – if you want to keep going. The thing is it's like way easier to keep going, though, than it is to get going. Like if you're 58 and you start working out now, like, ooh, that's hard. But if you're 58 and you've been working out for –

[2:44:00] For me, like 40 years. Right. Right. [2:44:03] It's not hard for 40 years, more than that. It's 15, so yeah. [2:44:09] More than that. Like, I probably started working out when I started wrestling. So that was like 14. [2:44:16] karate was around the same time then taekwondo from 15 on so I've always worked out so my body just if I don't work out for a day my body's like what's going on I'm trying to get rid of this stuff I don't want any anxiety I don't want any tension I want to blow it out you probably sleepwalk into the gym [2:44:35] You probably like wake up sometimes like, oh, shit, I worked out. Yeah. Like I didn't – you pressed the button for the code and you was in there. You had no fucking idea. Well, that's why I like things that you can't sleepwalk through. Like if you're doing like heavy rounds in the bag, like you can't sleepwalk through 10 rounds in the bag. And that seventh round comes around. You look at the timer. You're like, fuck, I got three more rounds. [2:44:56] You do 10? Yeah. [2:44:59] I mean, I do it at my own pace. It's not like 10 of fighting. But it's, you know, 10 where you're [2:45:05] You're going at it. But that's the point. The point is that when it's done, I'm like, ah, I fucking did it. And it's really 10 is only 30 minutes of work. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Fighting is taxing. This is 10 three-minute rounds when I hit the bag. But think about an MMA fight. It's five-minute rounds. That's crazy. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. That's crazy. And another dude is trying to kill you for five minutes. And you're getting hit in that time. And you're getting choked and body slammed. Yeah. Your arm's getting yanked out of the sock.

[2:45:35] then you have to recover they got ice on your shin in between rounds like fuck am i doing with my life i should have went to school yeah that is a crazy mentality type of life but bless them god bless them and they they have to be all in too the way you're all in with comedy and you always have been they have to be all in with fighting and even then there's no guarantee because there might be a mike tyson in your division there might be a sugar ray letter there might be a floyd mayweather there might be a dude you're never catching up to [2:46:02] Like, like, I got Crawford. Yeah. [2:46:05] Like I say... [2:46:07] Like, I don't know much about fighting. [2:46:09] and I've learned a lot from you, [2:46:11] I remember we did a show. [2:46:13] in [2:46:14] I think Denver. [2:46:15] and there was this female fighter she came backstage [2:46:18] And she was up there. [2:46:20] And... [2:46:22] She'd just have it. [2:46:23] had a kid. [2:46:24] And she's still going to fight, but she's like, there's other things to life. [2:46:29] Like raise my son and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. [2:46:33] And then, [2:46:34] Once she said there's other things to life. And I was like, you're in my head. Just in my head. And you're a father. And just the way she said it and some other things. [2:46:41] I said, she shouldn't fight no more. [2:46:43] and [2:46:44] I watched all her fights after that, and she might have won one. [2:46:50] But she didn't [2:46:52] And I can't remember her name per se, but I just remember her saying that. You're the king of that, not being able to remember. Leave us with mysteries. You're welcome. You're welcome. I'm out. The comments are going to try to find that dude that you said is the best fighter ever. They're scouring right now. Yeah, somebody came up with that.

[2:47:10] It's a thing that you have to either want to be a world champion, you have to want to be the best in the world, or you have to be willing to accept that you're a journeyman. And if you're willing to accept that you're just doing it for a paycheck, it's a crazy way to make a living. But there are a lot of guys out there that they get to a point where they realize I'm never going to be champion, but I'm still going to make a lot of money. And I'm still going to have some good fights as long as I don't have to fight any world champions. I can be successful 60% of the time maybe, 70% if you're lucky. [2:47:40] It's a hard way to live, though. It's a hard way to live. How much, like, what's the average? [2:47:44] Like... [2:47:45] paycheck. [2:47:46] for a fight for a fighter like that you just described? It depends on how much they have crowd popularity, right? Like if you're a Donald Cerrone, Cowboy Cerrone, who never won the title, but who's a guy who... Love Cerrone. [2:48:00] He would make some real good money, real good money. I don't want to talk out of school. I don't know what his checks were. Right. But you could get rich. You could be a multimillionaire. Sean Strickland, he was just talking about it in one of his Instagram stories. That's why I could say this, where he said he's got about $4 million in the bank. That's good. I'm like, that's amazing. Yeah. And he's in his 30s. He's in his 30s. He's still top of the food chain, one of the best in the world in his division. And he's got money set aside. That's a smart dude. Right. [2:48:30] to do that because if you don't do that and then you run out of fighting and you run out of money and you run out of options and you run out of ideas you don't know what to do that's a [2:48:39] See, we could do what we do. Don Marrera said this to me once. He was like 65 years old, and he got off stage. He fucking murdered. And he goes, Joey, he goes, one of the things I love about this fucking game is like, as long as you're in it, you're still getting better. He's like, I'm still getting better. And it was beautiful to watch because it's true. Like Rodney Dangerfield, deep into his 70s, killing, killing. George Carlin, deep into his late ages before he died, killing. You could still do it.

[2:49:07] And with fighting, there's a time where all this fails you. All the shoulders fail, the back fails, the neck fails, the wheels fall off. And then you can't take a shot anymore, and you've got to get out. Yeah. I've seen it in boxing because that's the combat sport that I've watched the most growing up. [2:49:27] Yeah. [2:49:28] Shit, now I'm going to mention another name that I can't remember. [2:49:34] So there was this black guy who was fighting a Mexican guy, but they're big name guys. Melchick Taylor, Julio Cesar Chavez. [2:49:41] boom yeah that fight yeah never the same after that oh shit yeah look at that [2:49:48] He was winning the fight. Yep. Yep. Winning it. Winning it. Got. Winning it. Chased him down. Yep. Got stopped in the last seconds of the last round. And Melchick Taylor was never the same. Never. Never the same. Ever. [2:50:02] Ever, bro. Never the same again. All the skill. Yep. [2:50:06] all the technique. Yep. And he was [2:50:08] A great fighter. Great Olympic gold medalist. Yes. World champion. Yeah. [2:50:14] he never he didn't enter leave that ring the way he went in yep [2:50:19] And he was good enough to beat Chavez. Mm-hmm. [2:50:22] Crazy. Kind of, because he lost. He almost beat Chavez. And that would have been a great... [2:50:29] Moment. [2:50:29] Huge, huge moment. Huge. But the amount of damage he took up until that final blow was already sealed his fate for the rest of his life. Even if he never got hit with that last punch, if he just made it to the final bell and raised his hands up and they gave him the decision...

[2:50:45] You know, and no, if they did that, he still is never the same again. Yeah. [2:50:50] Because Chavez was just breaking him down. [2:50:52] Breaking them down. And then you're not around those guys the next day. That's the saddest thing about the UFC. I run into dudes who lost the next day at the airport. And you see them at the airport, and, like, one eye is completely shut. [2:51:08] They got bandages on their forehead where they got cut open, their arms in a sling, and they're shuffling because their legs are so beat up they can barely walk. And you see them get on the plane. You're like, whoa. They got sunglasses on and shit. And everybody's like, that guy got fired last night. He got knocked out. And you see them walking by. [2:51:27] Sometimes that's the winner, too. Oh, yeah, that's how brutal that show. Oh, yeah. Oftentimes that's the winner. But you would see those guys at the airport. You're like, wow, that's a that's a wake up call because it's not just the night of the fight. It's like, how long is it going to be before you feel normal again? Right. Yeah. You brought up Bernard Hopkins earlier. [2:51:50] And he has a... [2:51:52] the way he fought was [2:51:54] I ain't getting CTE. [2:51:58] First of all, you may hit me. And if it is, you're going to hit me while I'm holding you. And you ain't get no force or no power. And people are going to cuss and say, I'm a dirty fighter and let the motherfucker go. This is not a dance. And this ain't the electric slide or the two-step. But I am not getting no brain damage. Like Muhammad Ali used to move.

[2:52:20] Bernard would come to you, hug you, pap, pap. [2:52:24] hug you again, pap, pap, hug you again. People paid their money, curse this motherfucker out, but they still come back to see this motherfucker hold. Yeah, he frustrated the shit out of people, but he did fuck some people up too. Yeah. When he fucked up Felix Trinidad, that was a big one. That was crazy. That was a big one because everybody thought Trinidad was going to kill him. I thought Trinidad was going to kill him too. He was a bad motherfucker deep into his late 40s. Yes. Late 40s world class. That's crazy. If you don't let him fight, [2:52:51] You could fight for a long ass night. [2:52:54] You could just keep fighting. [2:52:56] Just don't let him fight. He knew all the... [2:52:59] Arm locks. But even him, like the last fight he had against Joe Smith Jr., he got knocked out of the ring and fell on his head. [2:53:07] And he was 50 years old. [2:53:09] That's old, bro. I know. And the guy who fought Joe Smith Jr. is a murderous puncher. Just murderous puncher. And he was just hitting Bernard with these haymakers. And Bernard went through the ropes, and the ropes were loose, and he fell out of the ropes and landed on his fucking head. That's how the fight ended. He's too old to be doing it. First of all, he's too old to, like you said, your body goes. So he probably doesn't have the strength. No. His body's not.

[2:53:39] catches you and you land on your head? That's crazy. That's crazy. [2:53:42] It almost makes up for all the punches he missed his entire career, all in that one moment. [2:53:48] I mean, that's a car wreck. [2:53:50] Yeah, that could fuck you up for the rest of your life. [2:53:53] Yeah, we're lucky. We're lucky we picked a thing that doesn't give you brain damage and you can keep doing forever and ever. Yeah, or we were just made this way or it picked us. I don't know. What is this? Too serendipitous. Yeah. [2:54:05] but uh [2:54:06] I'm glad. I'm glad too. [2:54:08] Yeah. I'm glad we've been friends all this time, too. Yeah, 100%. We've had a fun ride. Yeah, we had a fun ride. Let's keep this shit going. Fuck it. Tonight, you doing my show tonight? I'm leaving. I'm going back to L.A. You ain't going to like that answer. That's why I even asked. Do you have to go back? Can we change your flight? I got a writing job. Oh, you got to be there tomorrow? So I got to be there tomorrow. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. So it's a writing job, that velvet prison, son. I'm trying to break out. That's why I got this special. [2:54:38] Specials, bro. Okay. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. All right, brother. Well, tell everybody what's the name of it. Where is it? It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. [2:54:46] Ian Edwards, stand-up. Untitled. It's called Untitled. [2:54:52] All the money from the views and the adsense goes to victims of the L.A. fire. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, I don't want no money. For real, though. For real. For real, for real. Like, unlike all those other gigantic... You know me. I've never scammed anybody. No. You know what I mean? I'm just like... [2:55:06] I was there in LA when it happened. [2:55:08] And it was...

[2:55:09] Devastating. [2:55:10] Did you do this in the La Jolla? Yeah, at the Comedy Store. The La Jolla is the guy that's such a great room. That's such a great room. Yeah. Beautiful. All right. Thanks for having me, brother. You're the best. I love you. I love you. I love you, man. All right. Bye, everybody. [2:55:37] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. [2:55:49] Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know. [2:56:03] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier and isn't getting more time with our four lefts. [2:56:33] best friend something every dog owner wants the answer to that is [2:56:38] is yes, obviously. So try the Farmer's Dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food.

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